Anniversary

Three years ago today Ben and I said "I do."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health... we said that we would. :)

Two years ago (a few days after our anniversary) Ben was laid off from Verizon (formerly Alltel). It was a call on the morning of March 31st. We had just finished a three-day backpacking trip and were heading home. His phone found service and he had about 12 missed calls. Some were from the VP of IT ... it was either gonna be really good or really bad. We were thinking he would be let go soon, he was getting less and less work from his supervisors. It was kind of a blessing to just be released. That afternoon I took a pregnancy test. I thought I was, just as we were packing for the trip I realized I hadn't had a period since January. It was the end of March. And I was. It showed up positive and Ben and I just sat on the floor and cried. Me in his arms, tears of joy mixed with sadness ran down our faces.

The strangest part about that whole period of me being pregnant, living in his parent's house, him without a job... we never really panicked. Maybe it's that we aren't panicky people. I've chosen to reject the worrying mentality from my mom and I make a conscious decision not to worry or fear. Jesus says LET not your hearts be troubled. I think that implies that we can have control over it.

We prayed about if we should look for a job in Nashville so I could further my music career, but it felt strange to move away when I was going to have a baby. I wanted to be here in town with my family and Ben's family. We felt like the Lord was wanting us to just stay here. Side note: I was never supposed to stay here. I was supposed to be the one who would live on the other side of the world. I was gonna life in Tibet or Thailand or South America. I was gonna be on the road singing and writing music. I wasn't gonna get married or have kids... How Ben changed all of that for me. How much GOD changed that for me.

I remember when I first started to really get to know Ben and he was upfront about how he liked me and we had similar backgrounds and his strengths complimented my weaknesses and he loved the Lord and was willing to follow God anywhere. We both had a love for music, he wanted me to take opportunities with my music, he wanted to encourage me to write songs, I not only fell in love with him, I fell in love with his family too. I would write letters to him. I saw him every day and I would still write letters to him. He would write letters and emails to me. Every night we either ate at my parent's house or his parent's house for dinner. I had seen him serve in our ministry.

Okay, one thing that I love about Ben and guys like him will never get enough credit for is that he loves to serve. He came every Monday and helped set up for Chi Alpha and it took up most of his day. He's not the guy who is in the front talking to all his friends, being the popular, funny guy who is awesome and cool and everyone wants to be around. No. He's fun if you get to know him, but he's not super outgoing (I'm the outgoing one of the two of us, unafraid of getting up in front of people, etc) No, but he is a servant and a hard worker. He is also faithful. He has a friend whom he has remained friends with since he was 12. They still talk on the phone almost every day. If you really want to be Ben's friend he will be your friend for life.

Okay, what am I talking about? I feel like I'm rambling.

Oh yeah, Ben found a BETTER job 3 months later. Better pay, better co-workers, more challenging. It was like new life was breathed into my husband. The severance and money saved by living with Ben's parents allowed us to put a down payment on a house.

We had Levi in November. I told someone today, even though you have nine months to prepare for a baby coming into your lives, there is no way you can actually prepare for a baby. You have no idea the change that they bring. It sort of felt like a rod had been thrown into the spokes of our wheels and everything comes to s screeching halt. Then after a while you sort of get going again. Three months is better, six months is better than that, nine months, and after a year it's completely second-nature. We couldn't imagine our life without Levi. He is a joy in our home. I would be so bored... I think too that I would be dissatisfied?... More selfish? ... I don't want to say that if you don't have a kid you will be selfish and dissatisfied, but I do want to caution people who don't want to have kids, choose to wait a really long time to have kids... I don't know, there's something so good and healthy about having a baby. I have friends who are trying to get pregnant and who are really really wanting a baby. I pray for those friends that they WOULD be blessed or if they need to adopt that they would be led in that area.

Another rabbit trail I see. My apologies.

This morning as Ben and I were sitting on the couch and praying we were just in awe of the things that the Lord had done in us and through us in just three short years. It feels like it has been forever, but at the same time not long enough.