Okay, so it was a rough day. I think I just had a lot I had to do and some more things that I wanted to do... I went shopping for some essential oils at Whole Foods, then came home and taught a voice/piano lesson, after that it was off to my mother in law's to drop Levi off so that I could go to NLR and do some recording, on my way home I called and found out that Levi was still asleep so I took another forty five minutes at the grocery store. On the way home from picking up Levi I stopped to get a prescription and of course Levi had pooped in his cloth diaper. This was the second cloth diaper poop of the day, third poop altogether, the first one was on the floor in the living room this morning. Let's just say that I'm probably the worst potty trainer in the world. :)
So really, after all of that I got home to a messy house with laundry halfway done and dishes needing to be loaded into the dishwasher and dinner needing to be started and two poopy diapers that needed to be rinsed out in the toilet. It was 3:45 and I had no nap time.
If you are a mom, you will know what I'm talking about, maybe you're not a mom and just easily distracted... but really, kids make you ADD. What's crazy is that I only have ONE kid I'm chasing around. I think what I'm learning is that I need to nip bad behavior in the bud. I also need to not allow myself to get so busy.
Levi has become quite verbal in his requests. He also thinks that the louder he requests things the more inclined we will be to meet them. Yeah right. He is like a barrage of one word questions: "Juice! Juice! Juice!" "Hands! Hands! Hands!" (meaning he wants to wash his hands aka play in the sink and get water everywhere) "Nunk! Nunk! Nunk!" (means milk, I have no idea how these words are similar, but that's what he calls it). Whenever you are eating something and he would like some of it he says "Some! Some! Some!" His pleas often go up in pitch and volume until I find myself wanting to yell at him "No!" ... Jesus, help me. This is my sin nature coming out, wanting to yell at my child.
At one point I thought, maybe I should just lay down for a few minutes and get my strength back. Of course Levi thought that this was the prime opportunity to climb on me and body slam mommy. Have you ever just wanted to run away from your child? I can now say that I have. I pictured me locking myself in the closet but then I thought, he would just stand outside and cry for me... that totally won't work.
I posted on FB that I had a taste of the "terrible twos" ... I should explain that in general Levi is a sweet little boy. He is a lot better than many kids I have seen and I think he has a disposition to please and is pretty laid back. But today I for sure had some serious glimpses of his will coming out. Him crying to get his way, falling on the floor, whining, almost arguing with me it felt like... in a way that only a one-worded two year old can argue. He kept asking to wash his hands and pushing the chair over to the sink and I would tell him no. Then he was asking "Pease, pease, pease" (please), I'm starting to think that we have taught him to ask please so much that he thinks if he asks please then he automatically gets whatever it is. But I didn't want to deal with a watery mess in the kitchen so I told him no again. Then he really started crying. You have to know that there is a big difference between an "I'm hurt" cry and an "I didn't get what I wanted" cry. The latter begs no sympathy. I told him that if he was upset about it I didn't want to hear it and he could go cry in his room. Usually this does an okay job of stopping him from crying. It's a fine line, do you spank for crying? We have decided that if we tell him to stop crying and he persists, then we will spank because he is in disobedience. This is a lot to remember though and sometimes all that noise they are producing makes situations seem foggy.
I think more than anything I just realized that I need to make sure and slow down. These coming weeks with being super prego and tired are going to be challenging. Levi is needing one on one time and I am going to need physical rest to keep up with everything.
More than anything I need to be praying and walking with the Lord. It wasn't until I was having thoughts of locking myself in the closet that I thought about crying out to the Lord. I want it to be sooner than that. Whatever happened to that verse: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength? I need to press into what the Lord is speaking and ask Him for guidance and wisdom.
Jesus, as I asked earlier, please help me.
That sounds like so many of my days. Most of our struggles come from Grant insisting on his way and me not giving in. I've learned that there are some things that aren't worth fighting over. I don't tolerate disobedience but I will give him room to make choices. The things that seem to work for us, at least right now, are giving him two things to choose between and counting. Like when Grant wants to wash his hands, which he does all the time, I'll either let him and pretend there is no mess or I'll say "do you want some hand sanitizer or a wipe?" this lets him know that washing hands in the sink is not an option without telling him no. Or "would you like water or nothing? Milk is not an option right now." I find the worst fits come when I say "no" right away. The other part, counting, is helpful too. I don't do the one, two, three now you're in trouble counting. I count to see how fast he can do something he may not want to do or I count backward from 5 and it seems to speed him up. Counting also slows me down so that I don't just react to him. Maybe some of this will help and if you learn any tricks along the way, pass them on. I know we've still got a long way to go.
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