Jonathan’s Birth Story

I still haven’t posted Abel’s birth story, but while it’s fresh I’m gonna post Jonathan’s  

I had been told he would be big and that I had a lot of water, no wonder my belly felt ginormous. So I wanted him to come early. My due date finally came around and after talking to a few friends about their experiences with caster oil I decided to take some. The secret recipe to keep you from puking it up: 2 tbsp caster oil, 2 tbsp orange juice and a Tsp of baking soda and then eat a banana right after. (Yes, I did puke after taking it without all that other stuff)  

I had mild contractions that day that went away by bedtime. This also repeated itself the next day (Thursday) and the next day (Friday). My midwife said if I wanted to just go to the hospital and break my waters I would probably have him soon. I was leery because I don’t like just having my waters broken. 

Friday afternoon I felt like I had been contracting pretty strongly for a few hours so I decided it was time to go to the hospital. Getting in the car my contractions settled down and I started to feel hopeless and that I would probably be in for a long hospital delivery (my worst nightmare because of all the things they do to you at the hospital). I asked my friend Joy to be there for the birth and at that point I felt silly because I had taken her away from her family and I didn’t even feel like I was truly in labor. 

When we got there I was at a four. My plan was to get there at an eight. But we make plans and then we ride the wave of labor. We decided to stay and I would take my midwife’s advice and have my waters broken. After all the things they did to me (getting me on remote monitors, heplock IV port, blood draw, Covid test etc) they finally got around to breaking my waters at 5:30 pm. I’ve never experienced that much water coming out of me during labor. It was puddles, multiple times. My midwife wasn’t joking about it might be like a waterfall.  

Then contractions intensified majorly! I went from a 4 to a 10 in a little more than an hour. I was moving from standing (hanging on Ben) the ball and the bathroom. I went from being able to talk through contractions to only being able to just focus through them, they were so intense! I went from everything was kind of ok to feeling extremely weak and vulnerable. This is when my body was working so hard. I commented to Joy, “I’m so tired.” She said she knew at that point I was close. 

I can’t remember when I had the epiphany. I feel like it was right after my waters were broken because I was still able to talk and think. But I saw Gretchen my midwife, my nurse Heather, Joy and Ben and I thought, “I need all these people around me.” I told them, isn’t it amazing that in this vulnerable time the beautiful thing about labor is that it’s so difficult we couldn’t do it on our own? We need each other. The comfort that each person brought was amazing. 

Ok, another rabbit trail but I just have to share this awesome testimony. The same nurse who was there for Jethros birth was Abel’s postpartum nurse and now we had her for Jonathan’s birth. This was a complete chance. We asked Gretchen, my amazing midwife, what the chances are of that and she said probably 1 in 60. Heather was so sweet and gentle and kind. I already knew her. She had watched me birth Jethro in a kind of scary circumstance but had witnessed the peace and calm of the Lord in our room. When she was caring for me with Abel she was like, I remember you! It was so peaceful in your birth even with you bleeding and everything! 

Ok, back to the story. 

 I remember getting off the birthing ball because the pressure was so intense and just lying on my side in the bed and being like, “am I already pushing?” My wonderful friend Joy was holding my hand, rubbing my shoulder and telling me I was going to be ok. At one point I thought: I can’t do this! But instead of verbalizing that I decided to change it and say “I CAN do this!” It was such a victory! Ben said he’s never heard me say that before. 

Jonathan came out perfectly, I was coached through pushing and didn’t even tear. It was maybe 5 or 10 minutes. Before I knew it they placed him on the bed next to me, I was amazed! It was so fast and he was just HERE! 

Looking back I’m really thankful we went to the hospital when we did. I think because my bag of waters was so big it was keeping his head from engaging and my labor from starting. With all the water that came out of me I’m glad it didn’t happen at home because the car ride would have been pretty brutal and probably messy! 

After the birth they said I was bleeding a lot (seventh child, VBAC #6, older uterus) so they gave me a shot and two bags of pitocin. By the end of the night I was in the clear for bleeding. My feet swelled pretty bad for a few days and my hands still have carpel tunnel (hopefully it will go away in a few weeks) 

I’m so thankful for this precious little gift! It’s always at great cost that we bring another life into the world, but he is worth it. Thank You Lord. 

A Morning Revelation

 I'm wanting to write music. 

I've been writing a lot of scripture songs, just literally plagiarizing the Bible and singing straight from it. It's fun and it helps me with my struggle with lyrics. I always feel like lyrics take about ten times more work than music. 

At the same time, I listen to music and struggle to think that I have anything really to offer. There's nothing new under the sun. Who do I think I am? I have the same thoughts about blogging and whether or not it's worth it to even write. Do I really have anything unique or different? 

I'm such a four. If you know about the enneagram, you will know what I'm talking about, if not, look it up, it's intriguing. 

This morning I was struggling with sadness, or was it depression? I'm not sure. Maybe it was hopelessness. Which is silly because I truly love my life. My kids are the best, my husband is amazing, my house, my church, our disciples, the property where we live, I could go on and on. 

I'm not sure why I was depressed except for a few things: our house is a mess right now, it's amazing how quickly it can become a disaster with eleven people living in it, six of them being children. I often feel like I'm just one person cleaning up after EVERYONE. This is not true of course, I leave messes too, but the ones that are the most annoying are the messes someone else leaves. My messes are there for a reason and I know why, I just don't understand the messes from others. This is all tongue in cheek of course, I've had to step back and observe how silly my reasoning is. 

It was also messy because we are walking around on subfloors upstairs in our bedrooms. We are getting new floors installed next week and to save money we ripped up the carpet ourselves. Now the rooms are all kind of hodge-podge around and even though we swept there are still staples and splinters everywhere. Thankfully there haven't been any injuries, yet. 

Andrew Peterson's book Adorning the Dark is amazing. He told me to rip up my carpets. So, we are going for it. 

I've also been listening to the podcast Typology in hopes to get to know my friends who have a different enneagram number than me, however, I just found myself getting depressed. Maybe because the enneagram is from a negative point of view or it was just about the human condition and we are all in need of God and His redemption. I decided to stop listening and start praying. 

It helped to just sort of realize I was kind of sad, kind of mad, kind of depressed and then think about where it might be coming from. Some things I could help, some I could not. 

I'm incredibly intimidated to set up a "mini recording studio" in my closet. I'm not smart enough or talented enough for this. But it's a mandate God has put on my heart since October so I must follow through. Help me, Lord. I need You. 

Thank You Lord for another year. Thank You for allowing me to live this long, for giving me life and breath and a voice. Thank You that it doesn't matter if I'm special or talented or not, it only matters that I'm obedient. You are God and I am just a little tiny person. Thank You for loving me just as I am. Help me to obey You. Help me to persevere. I love You, with my whole heart, I love You Jesus.