My VBAC Postpartum

So it's been eleven days. Eleven days. Aria has been outside of my body for eleven days. It kind of feels like she's always been here. She just fits right into our family like a puzzle piece, like she always belonged or something like that. I guess she really has been a part of our family for the past nine months but at least now we get to look at her little face and hold her in our arms. I get to see that she got my grandma's super long fingers and toes, she got my nose, Ben's mouth and has a little dimple on her chin that we think might have come from Ben's grandma. I get to hear her little unique cry and other noises she makes, I get to see her soft smile as she is sleeping and touch her soft little ears... it really is amazing.

Okay, so what I really wanted to post about is just everything since the VBAC, the difference between the C-section and the natural birth, the recoveries and other thoughts or revelations I have had since then.

I must say, I have learned a lot. :)

Last night my sister and I were talking about my labor and how it never really took off the way people say it will. For instance, after the Dr broke my waters she was expecting me to have contraction on top of contraction and I really didn't. It was like my labor just continued. It was just as painful and I still had a minute or two between contractions, it was just slow and steady. Slow and steady. She said that in her Bradley Method book they call that labor "the putterer" ha ha! We laughed last night, I don't know that I would have laughed had you told me that when I was in labor. :) But I was thinking about it this morning and I wondered if since my labor was going so slowly that it was in fact good that I didn't get an epidural, that maybe that would have caused me to stall out completely. I don't know. But for the first time I thought, "I'm glad I didn't get one." Seriously, because before that thought occurred to me this morning I was thinking, "that hurt so bad, why did I so want to experience a natural birth?" But thinking about it this morning I thought, I could have had another C section. I don't know. I'll never know, but it did make me thankful I was able to VBAC.

Maybe some of you are wondering about recovery as far as my physical body goes. To be honest, they don't tell you all the stuff that happens when you push a baby out. I'm putting this out there for women who are going to have babies vaginally, honesty is my only policy on this blog. So, I'm going to be honest about my experience. I tore in three places. The Dr's comment was that it looked like grenade went off in there. My perineum also was also very swollen, I also had hemorrhoids. On top of that, I am beginning to think that my pelvis was kind of bruised from all the pressure. I'm not sure. All that to say that the first several days I couldn't sit down. Thankfully the hospital beds have this nice reclining function and they also gave me a little kiddie inner tube to sit on if I needed to use a chair. I couldn't walk very far and when I did it was kind of a waddle. About day three I was sitting there crying, thinking, I'm going to get better! I just wanted to feel like a whole person again. I don't know why I didn't expect this, but honestly, I was expecting to come home from the hospital after having this amazing natural birth and then I could roll around on the floor with my little boy, go on a walk, just do stuff and here I was, worse than when I was pregnant. It was rough.

Okay, I think what happened to me was a worst case scenario. Now that I have scared all the women out of ever having a baby or getting pregnant.

I'm going to give glory to God right now and say that it's been eleven days and I'm almost back to 100%. Yeah, I'm still a little sore, little tender, little hemorrhoids still, but I think the healing process is going much much quicker. I don't remember everything about the recovery for the C-section, but I do remember not wanting to wear jeans because of my scar for some weeks. I remember not being able to really use my abs for several months, just trying to take it easy on them. I want to say that I could still feel the scar, especially in my last trimester and that was about two years later.

I would say the difference between the C-section and the vaginal delivery was that the VBAC was probably a higher degree of pain but for a shorter amount of time, whereas the C-section didn't effect my sitting as much as it did my walking and I think it was a longer healing process.

Wow, it's 2:30 and a wave of exhaustion just hit me. I'm going to go now. If you have questions, feel free to ask. :)

Pregnancy again. :) part 3

I meant to post more than this but somehow I have been out of the mood. Something about feeling nauseated and exhausted for most of the time really takes it out of you.

I think I'm approaching nine weeks now and I will be so glad when this sickness stuff is over. Also will be glad when I have a legitimate belly. It's weird because I have felt sensitive in my belly area, and I'm already starting to kind of pop out (I heard this happens more when it's your second baby and everything is already nice and stretched out:)) but I just sort of feel like I look like I ate too much for lunch. I can't really rub my belly yet... I don't know.

I'm also realizing I can't take certain medications as well. I have to watch out that I don't eat certain foods... I had forgotten about all of this stuff. It is totally and completely worth it, but still, it kind of stinks when you have a really bad cough. I think my trip to San Francisco really took it out of me. I took two naps today and laid on the couch for the rest of the time. Finally Ben got me to go on a walk with him. It's so good to have a husband who helps in that area.

It's amazing to me to think of women who have had lots of children and who have done this over several years of their lives. Just to think that the majority of their time they had a little someone dependent on them. Even after you have the baby, you still nurse and the care for that little one is even more intense. I'm praying that my heart will be right in all of this. Praying that I won't become selfish with my time or my rest, praying that I will do what I can and be okay with not being able to do the stuff that I can't. Praying that I will be able to sleep at night, praying that I will be able to pour into Levi, praying that I will have the right heart in loving Ben...

Oh yes, and one more thing, I have noticed with my cough recently that I can feel where I had my C-section when I cough really hard. I'm wondering in what other ways I will be feeling the C-section in the future. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Would love to hear them.