Pregnancy again. :) part 3

I meant to post more than this but somehow I have been out of the mood. Something about feeling nauseated and exhausted for most of the time really takes it out of you.

I think I'm approaching nine weeks now and I will be so glad when this sickness stuff is over. Also will be glad when I have a legitimate belly. It's weird because I have felt sensitive in my belly area, and I'm already starting to kind of pop out (I heard this happens more when it's your second baby and everything is already nice and stretched out:)) but I just sort of feel like I look like I ate too much for lunch. I can't really rub my belly yet... I don't know.

I'm also realizing I can't take certain medications as well. I have to watch out that I don't eat certain foods... I had forgotten about all of this stuff. It is totally and completely worth it, but still, it kind of stinks when you have a really bad cough. I think my trip to San Francisco really took it out of me. I took two naps today and laid on the couch for the rest of the time. Finally Ben got me to go on a walk with him. It's so good to have a husband who helps in that area.

It's amazing to me to think of women who have had lots of children and who have done this over several years of their lives. Just to think that the majority of their time they had a little someone dependent on them. Even after you have the baby, you still nurse and the care for that little one is even more intense. I'm praying that my heart will be right in all of this. Praying that I won't become selfish with my time or my rest, praying that I will do what I can and be okay with not being able to do the stuff that I can't. Praying that I will be able to sleep at night, praying that I will be able to pour into Levi, praying that I will have the right heart in loving Ben...

Oh yes, and one more thing, I have noticed with my cough recently that I can feel where I had my C-section when I cough really hard. I'm wondering in what other ways I will be feeling the C-section in the future. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Would love to hear them.

Pregnancy again. :) part 2

Of course I don't feel like blogging.  I just can't help it.

I have to admit, the past two days haven't been that bad. I've had moments of smelling something or feeling exhausted or hungry and nauseated at the same time (this is always a weird phenomenon because you don't want to eat and you want to eat at the same time). In general, it's been better than Monday.

I was thinking this morning about how thankful I am that I don't have to get up and go to work every day. Granted, what I do is hard work at home, but at least I don't have to worry about being late or have to worry about looking good and being dressed nicely. :) Haha! I worked part time when I was pregnant with Levi. I remember trying to find ways to work as little as possible. All I wanted to do was lay in bed. I was also very fortunate then because we were living with Ben's parents and his amazing mom fixed all of our dinners. I didn't have to cook at all. I think I tried to load the dishwasher when I could. But really, I was totally a pampered. Now I've got my own household and my own little person to take care of. I remember asking my sister in law how she took care of her two kids during her first trimester and feeling terrible. She said, "You just do what is necessary and what you can't do, don't worry about." I'm realizing that with each kid my standards of "clean" are probably going to go down a bit. Thankfully I have a husband who doesn't mind vacuuming and helping clean up the kitchen, but I'm realizing that my house doesn't have to be spotless during this time and my meals don't have to be incredible. Really, it probably just needs to be decently healthy food. We're having frozen pizza, broccoli and ranch tonight. :)


One weird thing is that it's almost as though Levi knows I'm pregnant. Maybe it's because I've been acting strange lately, maybe it's because I have been home more these past few weeks, but he has become extremely clingy. Not that I mind it, it makes me feel needed and wanted. I know that he values me, but sometimes it is a little bit annoying. He definitely likes to get up on the couch with me and cuddle and get as close as he can, loves to be held and especially wants to be held while I'm making dinner. This can be difficult when you are already tired. I love him so much. Disciplining him is becoming more challenging with me being tired and him getting older and craftier. Help me Lord. I need You.

If you all would pray for me. I'm hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) for this little one.  I'm excited to have a very pro VBAC Dr and a good support system around me. I feel like the medical community has a difficult time with this one because in some cases birth can be a medical emergency and in other cases it's a natural part of life. I'm praying that I will have the right perspective, the right heart. I want what is best for my baby and I believe that is a VBAC. I would covet your prayers for me in this area.

Thank you.

Pregnancy again. :) part 1

I keep having this inner dialogue with myself about stuff. That's what I love about blogging. I don't blog so that I can post pictures, I don't blog to tell everyone about my latest purchases, I blog because I enjoy letting other people in on my thoughts. I invite others to join me on my journey and participate in my struggles and triumphs.

Well, some of you may know this, but I wanted to let you all know that I'm pregnant. My husband and I are very excited about bringing another new life into the world.

So I'm going to start another series in my blog about this pregnancy in comparison with my last one, the things I'm experiencing, how my life is different (it is VERY different), the spiritual struggles, the physical struggles, the emotional and mental struggles...

Alrighty then, here goes.

I'm about 7 weeks along. I'm not positive about gestation, but will know more when we go to the Dr in the first part of June. Just a few days ago I started to experience morning sickness. Now, the name "morning sickness" is, in fact, deceptive. Maybe it's stronger in the morning, I don't know, but for me it's an all day long sickness. I don't get it terribly. I have friends who throw up all day every day, but the best I could describe it is just this general feeling of nausea. Not cool. And then add being incredibly tired on top of that and you have some no fun days. I'm trying to do my best to just lay down for a few minutes then get up and do some housework, then go lay back down and rest some more. Levi sees this laying down time as an ideal time to just crawl all over mommy. So I get little knees and elbows poking me as he crawls up on the couch. It is adorable that he wants to cuddle and just be with me. He loves to be hugged and touched in general.

I feel like in this first phase of pregnancy we as moms are reminded that our bodies are not our own. It's the first act of sacrificial motherhood as we carry our new little baby.

Lord, help me to continue to serve my son and my husband. Give me strength and patience and endurance as I keep the house and fix meals. Thank You for my husband who is so gracious to me. Help me to love him as I should.