Life Lately

Here are some snapshots of my life.

This is emphasized for humor. Because, let's face it, sometimes in motherhood if you're not laughing, you're crying.


Ben says this morning, "Hey Jody, can you please take our three small children with you to the paint store [so they can be bored out of their minds while some idiot kid can match the paint that he failed to match the first time]"
"Sure Ben, while I'm there I'll have him mix the eight gallons of paint I just realized we need to touch up with in different parts of the house. That will totally work."
Sometimes I participate in idiocy.
"I'll also bring our daughter in her new panties so she can poop in them while we are there."
"Good idea."

Just kidding. That's totally what would have happened though, had I not thought to put Aria in a diaper before we left.

Pulling into the paint store Levi asked:
Mom, why are you backing into the parking spot?
Because I'm a daredevil like that.
Oh, okay.

Thank you Sherwin Williams for being awesome and serving me so well. Also, it was good that the store was empty. (This had to have been a blessing from God.)

Also, I have now VOWED never to take my children to "look" at toys again. Oh wow, if this isn't teaching them to covet, I don't know what is. I just wish I had Levi's face on camera when he found out we were leaving WITHOUT buying a toy. Oh my. I'm laughing in my head just thinking about it right now.

On that note, I kind of hate whoever thought to put toys in the grocery store. It's like the bane of every shopping trip to continually respond with, "No Levi, we are not getting a car today." "No, no car." "Not today." "If you ask me for a car one more time you are getting a spanking." It's kind of like when you get that cart that makes horrible noises the whole time and keeps wanting to veer into the display cases. Kinda like that.

Aria is amazing me with her potty training abilities. I mean that not in a good way. This little girl can hold it while sitting on the potty until she has a red ring around her buns. Then you finally give up and say, "well, I guess she doesn't have to go." You put panties on her and she pees in them two minutes later. I am suddenly wishing I had done some sort of EC with her. If you don't know what that is, you can read my blog about it. If only she had a cue that would make her think, "go pee NOW." That would be super helpful. The good thing is that she is not terrified to poop on the potty like Levi was.

So Simeon might get some tastes of infant potty training. I'm hoping this will spur Aria on in her desire to stop going in her pants.


Dear House,

Would you please clean yourself? You look atrocious.

Sincerely,

Jody

I had better go start working on dinner. Let's go Simeon, before the other two wake up from their naps.

This Happened Today

Oh where to begin? What a day this has been.


Maybe I'll just start at the beginning.

Aria has lazy or wandering eyes, yes, poor baby inherited that gene from yours truly. I had noticed it when she was younger, but finally said something at her 18 month appointment. We scheduled an appointment at Children's Hospital two months out. I actually don't know why it was that far out, I just assumed that it was just difficult to get us in.

With great anticipation, the appointment was today. They said to be prepared to be there for three hours. They said to bring books and snacks and toys. To be prepared.

So, I prepared. I woke up at 5:30, I had snacks packed, diaper bag packed, I read the Word, showered, put my makeup on, Ben and I had an awesome time in prayer…

Then my kids woke up.

They slept until 7:30 and it was amazing.

I went and got Aria. She had pooped and it was pretty messy. Like, on the sheets, up her back kind of messy. Awesome. I carried her to her changing table and she was crying. She would NOT lay down to let me change her. She just stood there and cried. She was upset. I was trying to help. So for what seemed like forever but probably was just a few minutes we struggled and I eventually forced her to let me clean her up. "Aria, I understand that you are upset about all of this, but I am only trying to help. I know that the poop is messy and the wipes are cold and you don't like to have your clothes taken off, but this is just what we have to do right now."

Let me just also preface that last night my parents amazingly, lovingly, wonderfully took care of our kids so that we could go to a banquet. Levi and my dad made this beautiful "garage" out of toy blocks. Really, it was kind of a castle built around a toy car. It was also in the kitchen, on the floor, in the middle of life. They made Levi promise that if Aria knocked it over, he wouldn't cry. He promised. And he is a liar (we're born liars right?!) Never trust a three year old.

We go out and have breakfast. We swoon over Levi's beautiful garage. The kids had cereal and I had my eggs on a salad.  I tried to get them to eat some eggs, usually Aria loves it, but today she threw them on the floor. Breathe. Calm yourself.

I wiped her off and put her down. Almost immediately she went to Levi's beautiful garage and knocked it over.

Emotional armageddon ensued.

Levi was on the floor weeping. Screaming "No!!! We have to rebuild it!" You would think that he was pleading for his life. I'm looking at the clock and thinking, we need to leave in thirty minutes, he's not dressed, shoes are not on, I still need to pack up a few toys and books, I haven't finished my breakfast, the kitchen is a crazy mess… I told him no, we are not rebuilding the garage. Of course this caused a fit of rage. Honestly, I just didn't want to deal with it. I stood there at the kitchen island, eating my salad and watched him wallow on the floor in anguish. I was wondering if I would be able to get him under control before we needed to leave. Add that to the list of things to do: Get Levi in his right mind. It might have been quicker if we had just rebuilt the garage.

So we disciplined. I was not holy and sanctified and perfect in it. It is very difficult to control this highly emotional little boy. Somehow, we got it under control. I got the toys and books, clothed and shoed the children and we headed out the door, sippies in hand.

Right now we are painting the door that goes from our kitchen to the garage, so instead of a door, we just have a blanket hanging to sort of keep the heat in, but otherwise, it's open. So we are not using our garage right now. We went out our rarely used front door and I just locked it behind me. I got me and the kids into the van and realized I had left the keys in the house. Including our house key. So I hit the garage door opener. It opened about two feet and then stopped. I hit it again and it didn't budge. I had no choice, at thirty weeks pregnant I crawled on my hands and knees under the garage door, went in and got the keys off the counter. I tried the garage door from the inside and it still didn't work. I used the front door to get out of course. I called Ben and told him that the garage door didn't close and that I was leaving because I needed to be at the Dr's appointment at Children's Hospital.

On the way there we stopped to pick up Aria's shot record. Let me just say here that they never once asked for it at Children's. Am I a little annoyed? Yes.

At the hospital I had to ask about three different people for directions to the Opthamology Department. It is somewhere in the back recesses of the hospital. Thankfully, I had planned on this sort of thing happening and we got there with plenty of time.

The appointment was okay. I had heard to allot three hours for it, so I was prepared for a long time. However, I was hoping that Levi would be in a better mood, he just wasn't his chipper self. I'm not sure that it helped to have televisions on in almost every waiting room, with shows that I wasn't even comfortable with, I hadn't seen them before but they looked pretty dumb. Whatever.  I did have to hold Aria for the dilation and eye drops, we waited all that time for the Dr to tell us that she had no damage and that he couldn't tell she had a lazy eye. I guess that's a good thing. So really, I spent all that time and effort to find out that she's just fine. I really really really need to be content with that. Lord, I'm sorry I have such a bad attitude.

All the way home I just wanted to eat. Now, we are moving from my children's sin to my sin. Oh my, what a stronghold it can have. I scarfed down my whole bag of nuts and still wanted more.

When we got home, I had made a delicious pumpkin syrup the night before and I was snacking on that… I know I originally said that I would keep on this sugar fast for three weeks, well, I was going to gradually introduce sugar this week. Let's just say that gradually got punched in the stomach for my desire for … comfort. I think now, looking back, I just wanted something that would make me feel better. I wanted to forbidden fruit of sugar and starch and I was tired of being deprived.

That afternoon while the kids napped I decided to make myself a big ole bowl of ice cream. I did not care at that point. I had fallen from my place of perfection and I was going to fall hard. I just didn't care.

I hate the free fall. I hate the feeling of going "off the diet" and just wanting to eat an entire kitchen's worth of food and that still not being enough.

Lord, I need You. I need comfort and strength from You. Help me not to look to food for those things. Help me not to look to my husband or children or Facebook or blogging or instagram or all these things that my heart wants to love. Thank You that You are the God of all comfort. Thank You for creating good food, help me to delight in it and worship you for it. I am tired of looking to food for comfort, it's silly and it just doesn't work. Help me to look to You.

Thank You for today. Thank You that it is over.

Lately

I just wanted to do a quick update about the kids. Oh my the things that happen! So many things I want to keep track of, if only I had a baby book or something, but really I just have this blog. :)


Aria keeps us on our toes. We call her the book destroyer. She loves tearing things, picking at things and just ripping things apart. Usually even board books are not even safe. Also, along the line of books, she is just getting to the phase of liking longer books. Like Levi did, she has certain books that she will just sit through and love. Richard Scarry's Goodnight Little Bear is her book right now. She likes to kiss the bear (the book) goodnight when the mommy bear kisses him, she calls out "Whee!" when the father bear swings him onto his shoulders. She knows every turn of the page and (for the first time ever) patiently waits to turn the page. I am so excited about it, we probably read it at least three times a day. I don't even care. I remember at this age Levi's books of choice were: "Are You My Mother?" and "It's Not Easy Being A Bunny"

Levi's favorite series right now is anything Clifford. Personally, I could use a little less of Clifford right now, but at least he is enjoying books. He also loves the book "Horton Hatches An Egg" I love it too, but I always have to drink a big glass of water beforehand and set myself in for a LONG book. Some nights I'm thinking, "No! Don't pick that one!! We will never make it to bed!"

The other night he asked to read twelve books. I'm sure he thinks this is the biggest number there is. For some reason I was not using my brain because I told him that if he could say his scripture verse for that week, we would read twelve books. He just needed the first word as a prompt and then he quoted, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone." (Mark 16:15) He didn't know the reference so we negotiated down to six books. My jaw was pretty much on the floor though. Here I had recited the verse over and over to him and he barely said it back to me, and now he was RECITING it. Amazing. I'm now a believer.


Mom of the Year Award: Aria figured out how to push through both the double doors at Chick Fil A. She realized that if she put all of her weight into the doors, they would open. We had a play date there a week or so ago and I caught her trying to escape in the second set of doors. Oh dear. Well, Levi had worn socks for the first time (all summer) and we were having trouble finding them. Our friends were leaving and we were still looking high and low and Aria was attempting to escape. Everyone else was leaving, why weren't we? We finally found the sock shoved in one of Levi's shoes (I forgot that's where I told him to put it... so we wouldn't lose it of course). As I was helping Levi get the socks and shoes on, Aria escaped from my arms of course. The Chick Fil A worker commented about how she must keep me on my toes. I was so determined to get Levi's socks and shoes on and get out of there, I was not using all of my faculties, my only comment back was, "Yeah, she's probably out in the parking lot right now."  I don't think the worker knew how to respond back. I shoved Levi's shoes on him, grabbed our stuff and hoped, prayed that I would just find her pushing on the outer double doors again. Nope. She was in the arms of a very sweet lady, asking if she was mine. Embarrassed, um... yeah... she is pretty busy.

There are times when I think, wow, if only I had been thinking clearer as a mom.


Lord, help me. I need You. Help me to know what is important in these situations. Thank You for the guardian angels around my children that are saving their lives every day.

Pregnancy Update 23 Weeks

It's a beautiful Saturday morning! Fall is in the air and I LOVE it.

I'm now 23 weeks. In some ways it has sped by, but I realize I still have a while to go. I'm only going to get bigger from here... that's just a scary thought. I was just listening to a girl who just had a baby, saying that the night after she had her, she had the best sleep in a while. Oh yeah, waking up every hour to pee... I'm not looking forward to that.

I'm going to have to really start watching my posture. Especially when I sit. The problem is that I love my recliner! I love putting my feet up. The problem is that, it causes the baby to be positioned wrong in the womb and be more posterior (they are facing the wrong way, this makes them coming out more difficult and painful). At the same time, I'm only 23 weeks, so I probably won't have to watch it until I'm more like 30-35 weeks. Still, I have to watch out as well that I am sitting up straight, walking properly, and standing properly so I don't pop out a rib again.

I've been feeling a lot of kicks in the upper right side of my belly. It's been cool to think about him spinning around in there. I think for the most part, he is kind of sideways and head down.

The awesome part is that still, at 23 weeks I feel pretty awesome. I still have a lot of energy and we are still getting a lot accomplished. And by a lot, I mean, as much as you can with two little kids and homeschooling and discipline and part-time cloth diapering and cleaning up mess after mess.

Examples: there is a bunch of stone ground oatmeal in our dining room carpet right now because Levi has been playing with it and won't keep it in the pan. Yesterday, while the kids were waiting for me to fix their quesadillas, they swept the grated cheese onto the floor. I asked Levi who was going to sweep it up off the floor. He looked at me and said, "YOU are!" Thank you Levi, thank you for adding just one more thing to my work load.

Sometimes it's okay to just get around to the messes when I get around to it. Thankfully I have a very gracious and helpful husband. We have miraculously still been able to host people and have a somewhat presentable house. We just ignore the fact that we have no doors on our lower cabinets. :)

Levi Story:
Oh, I just have to inject here, my favorite thing that Levi does is talk about the past. He usually starts out by saying, "When I was two years old... " and he will say something completely inaccurage. Like that Aria was bigger than he was. Or how he was the size of a lima bean... I think it's his way of trying to make sense of what we say as adults and how we reference the past. I love it.

Life with Levi

I'm taking a break from cleaning the kitchen because I just realized, both my kids are ASLEEP. It's actually possible to sit and think right now.

Naps have been becoming more rare for Levi lately. He will be four in a few months, so I'm sure he's bound to outgrow them sometime. I'm just realizing this phase of my life is going to come to an end, the phase where there will always be a nap time break in the afternoon. It's okay though because he does play independently so well, the thought of this phase used to terrify me, but now I'm beginning to see that it will be okay.

Speaking of Levi... oh so many things I want to blog about him.

Right now, I'm realizing how dramatic he can be. Usually the drama heightens as he becomes more sleep-deprived. I'm praying for patience and wisdom as to how to deal with a child who falls over on the floor and howls at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get exactly what he wants. Maybe I give him a drink in a blue cup instead of the cup with Lightning McQueen (why in the world did I buy those  cups in the first place?!) Or when I try to put him to bed, or when he wants to sleep on one of the throw pillows from the couch instead of the regular pillows people use on their beds.

He also has a tendency to ask for things and not accept "no" as an answer. It can be mind-numbing. I've begun to tell him that if he even asks for this certain thing again he will get a spanking. This often does not deter him. It's difficult because I want to give him things that he asks for. I want to appease him, just simply because I love him and I believe that's what God does for us as his children. He will give us what we ask for. Although, I'm just now recalling a scripture in James that talks about asking inside of His will. Maybe this will give me something to discuss with Levi. When he asks for something that mommy already has in her will and would be good for the family, he will get it.

I don't mean to paint such a negative picture though. This little boy... there are so many things about him that even as I sit here, I am amazed at what a blessing he is in my life. What a blessing he is in general. Ben pointed out that recently Levi has been very cuddly, especially before bedtimes. Sometimes he will just want to lay there and hug and cuddle for a few minutes. We have found that this will prevent many spankings and getting out of bed later. Poor little guy, how long did it take us to figure that one out?

He loves to include Aria in his adventures. He sets up a chair at the end of the couch "so that she won't fall" (I think really, she would just fall onto the wooden chair than the floor, I'm not sure it would help much. He helps feed her too. I was offering her a sandwich, trying to get her to take a bite, but she refused. I set it down and he picked it up and offered it to her, she opened wide! I didn't know whether to be mad or glad at this.

Every time Aria has to go to bed, he always asks for a hug and a kiss. I love these times. I am looking forward to watching their friendship grow between them. I believe these are precious building blocks that will pull them closer together. I know it won't always be this simple with them being little and everything, but I want them to just truly be friends right now.

Lord, help me to parent these kids. I'm so weak and so many times I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Give me patience, help me to head off tantrums. Help me to realize that my children are not perfect and I am not perfect either. Give me strength Lord, I need it.

This Happened Today

Sometimes I feel like life is just putting one foot in front of the other.

Today we did not do school. Yes, I posted on instagram with Levi doing some school, but that was from earlier this week. Pretty much everything I do is a latergram. I can't instagram with kids pulling at my clothes, it just doesn't work.

I woke up with grandiose ideas that we would get ready for the day, go for a walk, do a bit of school, and then my mother in law would come pick up the kids by 9:30 and I would head off to the Crisis Pregnancy Center for my weekly few hours of volunteering. Let me just say that we only really just got ready for the day.

What happened? Aria did spill her milk and cereal all over the floor. Thankfully Ben wiped it up since I was still in the shower. I have a very gracious husband.
Levi helped me sweep up our bathtub that had a potted plant fall and break in it (a few days ago).
We all got dressed after negotiating outfits (Levi wanted to wear the shirt he wore yesterday, but it was dirty), running from mommy while she's trying to take off your clothes (thank you Aria), and crying about having our hair combed (yes, there were also spankings involved for running away).

I had to put Aria in her crib several times for disobeying. She has recently discovered how to climb up on the corner of our bathtub and turn on the sink. If I ever can't find her, she will be there, with her chubby little hand feeling the water run through her little fingers. I wish I could let her do this, but it's a terrible waste and I want to teach my children to conserve. She always throws a fit as I take her down. I usually give her a little spank on the bottom and tell her no. We look at the sink and point and say, "No, no!" but immediately when I put her down she goes for it again. This is usually when I opt for her crib.

I keep asking myself, "Why am I so tired?"

The kids really are the most fun people in the world though. As long as we don't have to be anywhere and don't have to get dressed or keep anything clean. My favorite thing is to stop and read to them in our big green arm chair. Levi usually sits on the right armrest (he refuses the left side and I have no idea why) and Aria varies between the left armrest and my lap. We read Mother Goose and I do little hand motions with the poems that I remember learning when I grew up. They especially love the last page with the Three Little Pigs. I start with Levi's feet and then Aria holds up her little foot to be "piggy-ed"I feel like it's good for them to hear rhymes and silly little stories because it gives them a familiarity with sounds and rhythms. Levi's main book these past few weeks has been "Make Way For Ducklings" by Robert McCloskey. I've probably read it no less than 40 times. He corrects me if I get a word wrong. It's such a sweet story and the pictures are so good, I don't even mind that I almost have it memorized.

Lord, help me to look for the positives. Help my goals not to be too big or too small. Help me not to expect too much or too little from my kids. Thank You for their amazing personalities, for Aria and her determination. I pray that it would be used for You, that she would be determined to seek You. Give us wisdom in loving our kids and allowing them to become who they need to be. Give me strength to overcome my anger. Give me strength to put one foot in front of the other. Help me not to run to food or technology for comfort. I feel myself being tempted in those areas. Help me to run to You. Thank You that You are my sustainer.

Thoughts on Motherhood

My days are filled with little feet and little hands.

Little feet pattering into my room in the morning, running up and down the hallway all day. Hands that get into everything, make spills, make messes, get out toys and other things they are not supposed to be touching.

Little hands always reaching up to be held. Little arms wanting to hug me when I'm sitting on the floor and overwhelmed.

Dozens of little outfits needing to be laundered. Little cups and dishes waiting to be washed. There isn't enough time in the day.

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to move through molasses. Some days it feels like nothing really gets done.

Life as a stay at home mom is hard. I don't mean to complain, I don't want to complain, I'm doing  what I believe is a valuable thing that the Lord has called me to do. I don't want to sit and rant about how every day is the same and how I'm always cleaning up something or wiping someone's bottom or fixing someone's breakfast, lunch or dinner, or snack. I don't want to complain.

But it is hard. It's demanding and it doesn't really stop. Except when they blessedly fall asleep.

Getting the child to sleep is another story though. It takes all I have to get them to bed some days. It also takes all I have to keep them in bed. Aria is easy, I put a new diaper on her, put on her jammies, we say good night to daddy and she is in bed. Levi is another story completely. He requires help with his pull up, his pajamas, brushing his teeth, coaxing and eventually threatening punishment if he doesn't at least try to go to the bathroom. We read books, there's always an argument on how many. I say two he says five, we usually end up with three. Then there are songs and scratching his back and then I pray and then he always needs and kiss and a hug or two or three. It's like I feel like I'm conditioning him into sleep. If we skip any of these long, detailed steps we have to go back or there is major whining or crying and eventually spanking because we are not going to stand for that. I have to say it is so hard though. And then when he gets out of his bed, it's hard not to get angry and say, "I did all these things and all these steps, you have to stay in bed now!"

I really did this to myself though. Somewhere along the line we started to do more than one song, then we started to read more than one book. I kept giving and he kept taking. That's probably why Aria's bedtime is so simple, because that's all I gave her. We don't read books at night, just during the day. I sing one song and she usually doesn't care whether or not I finish either. When she was younger I would often walk out in the middle of it, just start the song and lay her down and walk away. Oh, if only I could go back. But I also have to keep in mind that she is a different child than Levi and we wouldn't be guaranteed the same thing anyways.

I struggle with anger. I struggle with depression. I struggle with significance, maybe that's why the internet and social media are so appealing at times... it's a way to feel significant (not that it's always the case).

What I must say, is that it's also a great joy. To get to see my kids grow and change every day, to get to know the intricacies of their personalities and desires. I get to know them better than anyone else on the planet. I get to be the one to kiss their ouchies, I get to celebrate their victories and encourage them. I get to sit in our big green chair and read them story after story, I get to watch them play and jump on the couch. I get to see them run up and down the hall as they eat their snacks. They make me laugh if I stop taking life so seriously.

Lord, help me to treasure these moments. Help me not to waste this.

A Bunch Of Updates.

I don't really feel like blogging right now, but I was just now wasting a bunch of time of Facebook, you know when you just scroll through the feed completely mindlessly? So, it's probably better to just blog.

Pregnancy Update: I've been feeling close to awesome. It's bad because I tend to think I'm invincible and tonight I ate after Aria who has been getting over a cold. We will see how invincible I am. Yikes. The only thing is the hunger. It's like clockwork, basically. We got out of church this morning and started to talk about lunch, I was like, I'm not really hungry, those whole wheat pancakes really stuck with me today. About ten minutes later I felt like I could eat a horse. I'm trying to be really conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth, but it's hard when you feel like you are about to die of starvation.

Levi Story: His new favorite bedtime song is Come Thou Fount, today he totally sang almost the whole first verse with me. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what the lyrics are actually saying, but it's super cute. Also, each evening and nap we read a chapter from the Jesus Story Book Bible and a Clifford book we got from the library. So each night it's Jesus and Clifford. Yep. Jesus and Clifford.

Aria Story: (which one do I tell?)  Today she took the stool from the bathroom, carried it into the living room and set it on the coffee table. She then proceeded to climb on the table and then onto the stool. Let's just say she likes to walk on the wild side. She also loves wrestling and playing with Levi, until he gets a little too rough, then she lets loose her blood-curdling scream. Gotta keep that one in the back pocket.

Ben is off his "crunches" (as Levi calls them) and knee cart. Every so often Levi looks up at him and says, "I'm really sorry about your achilles dad." He's a thoughtful little kid.

We are in the midst of re-doing the kitchen. For some reason the Lord has given me a love for sanding and tearing down wallpaper lately. Ben is the resident painter. My prayer is that we will keep our momentum going. It's fun to see the progress and exciting to think of what it will look like in the end.

God Is Teaching Me: That I'm not a perfect parent. And that's okay. I realized the other day that even though I don't want to and I know it's wrong, that I base my worth so often on what my kids do. Sometimes they are angelic and sometimes they are demonic. I feel maybe the most judged in my parenting. It's not that I have had people talk to me about it, but maybe it's that I've been the one to judge. Maybe it's that I feel eyes on me when I'm out and about. Maybe it's that I don't have complete control over my children. You can never truly have complete control over them unless you harness them or put them in a straight jacket. Seriously, they will always have a desire to do what they want to do.

Lord, help me to rely on You. I do things that break Your heart all the time. I speak in ways that I should not, I disobey, I rely on myself. I need You. Help me to release control to You. Give me strength to discipline not out of anger, or feeling frustrated, but to discipline because my child needs it. Help me not to worry about the opinions of others, but to be respectful and teach my children to be kind and considerate. I need You.

Levi Stories

Just a quick post cause I was putting Levi in bed thinking, I need to remember these things.

Cute things he says.

He calls Honey Bunches of Oats "Honey Bunches a Boats"

On the way home from church I was telling Ben how I needed to go to the grocery store. Levi immediately chimes in, "I want to come! We can look at the cars and you can set a timer for two hours!" I said, "No Levi, not two hours, two hours is a long time." He decided to negotiate then for five hours. I think we need to work on our number values.

His favorite song to be sung at night is Nothing But The Blood of Jesus. He asks for it as "Nothing About the Blood of Jesus" He knows all the words in it though. One night I remember being amazed as he sang the whole first verse and chorus with me. It's kind of shocking to hear words about the blood of Jesus come out of a three year old.

What can wash away my sin? 
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

Oh precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow
No other fount I know
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

I pray that these words have deep meaning to him someday... and not just as a bedtime song.

Levi Stories

Dear Levi,

You make my heart sing. Did you know that? I think you do. You act like you do.

You baffle me because you are such a performer and love being in the spotlight, but you still can be very shy sometimes. The other day I was walking along, looking at tomatoes in the grocery store, when the produce man laughed and said, "He's watchin' himself dance in the mirror!" I looked over and sure enough, there you were, dancing and looking up into the mirrors that hang over the produce. You had a sheepish look on your face, but I think you enjoyed the laugh.

You are enthusiastic about life. When you see our favorite grocer, Mister Roy, you run up to him and give him a fist knock (or whatever kind of greeting that's called). I'm loving teaching you how to interact with others and give them an enthusiastic greeting. I love how you bless them with your smile. More than anything, you get excited about Mimi and Papa Jerry. They come through our door and your little legs won't even move you are so entranced. You often simply squeal with delight. One time when we went to their house, you were so excited you couldn't open the glass door, you just saw Mimi and laughed with joy.

I love how excited you get over things. Things like sprinklers and fountains. The other day we were out by ourselves in the front yard with the sprinkler and you got so into it that you were yelling and running through the water. Aria and I just sat on the front porch and watched, it was so entertaining.

Recently, Daddy had surgery on his ankle to repair his torn achilles. The best part about it was the fact that someone loaned him a knee cart. You love to ask him if he wants to use his "crunches" instead of the "scooter" and if you could please ride it. In my opinion Daddy is very generous with his knee cart. One time you did leave him stranded though and he had to crawl from the back of the house to the front. We are working on thinking about other people's interests above our own. It's a hard concept, I know, I'm still working on it myself.

I'm also amazed at how aware of how "cool" you are. We went to Old Navy the other day and to get some sunglasses for you. The Avenger ones at Target just weren't cutting it. We found the glasses and a mirror to try them on. You put them on and immediately started dancing to whatever techno beat was playing in the store. That afternoon you wore them to the pool, walking in, you acted like you owned the place. You kind of looked like a 3 year old version of the Secret Service.

You are my cool, fun, enthusiastic, passionate, sweet little boy.

I love you Levi,

Mama

Levi Stories

The other day Levi hit Aria. This is not an unusual occurrence, I can usually count on it several times an hour. Still, I told him to go into his room and think about how to treat her gently. He ran in crying and suddenly I heard his cries through the air conditioning vent in Aria's room.

:: side note ::
Sometimes you do things in parenting that you KNOW you should not be doing. You know in that moment, this is going to cost you in your disciplining. This was one of those times, so please do not judge the following with the thought, "is this how she parents?!"

Okay, so I had this sudden idea. I went over to the vent and spoke in my lowest, deepest, longest tone, "LEVI." (it's a good thing I've had all my vocal training all these years, it certainly comes in handy in these situations.)

Silence on the other end. I do it again. This time he says, "who is that?" I tell him it's the voice from below in as daunting of voice as possible. Thankfully we've never watched scary movies or anything like that so he has no reference for the fact that this should be scary. I tell him in my deep deep voice not to hit his sister. He says, "what's yer name?" I say, "Aria." He laughs and says "No yer not! Is yer name Jody?' I tell him my name is Fred, he still doesn't believe me. I tell him I'm Daddy and he still insists that I'm Jody. Aria is laughing and squealing next to me, doesn't she know she's giving away my location?!

The hitting is long forgotten by this time and we are in a battle of names. I finally leave my post and go next door to his room and he says, "You were down there!" I thought, this is totally awesome. He thinks I was in the air conditioning vent. He probably thinks I'm super mom or something.

Other bits and pieces:
- Levi's imaginary friend is Elmo. Elmo is also a she. She is about two feet tall, plays the guitar and accompanies Levi when he plays the harmonica. He told me he wants me to drop him and Elmo off at church so that they can play music and everyone can dance. He came up with this idea on his own.
- I'm teaching Levi how to approach someone and ask if he can play for them, complete with a bow at the end. It makes my heart completely happy.
- He's always asking who's coming over or where are we going? He's definitely a people person.

Oh my Levi, I love your stories. I love YOU!

Levi Stories

Oh how I've needed to post some Levi stories. His life could be a story really,

The other day I was in the bathroom and he came running in. "Wook a my found (look what I found), it's Mater!" (the tow truck character from the movie Cars). He holds up a dusty little fruit snack. Fruit snacks are his favorite thing. He randomly just looks at me and says very seriously "I don't want a fruit snack mommy." This absolutely means he wants one. I told him a while back that I would reward him for good behavior when he least expected it. We don't want to bribe, we want to reward and rewards are not expected so stop asking for fruit snacks. Anyways, he was full of delight and joy as he presented the fruit snack to me. Since we hadn't had fruit snacks in about three days I asked him where he found it. He proudly exclaimed "Under the frigerator!' and popped it in his mouth.
"Mmmm, is that pretty good little buddy?"
"Yeah."
He's probably developing a taste for mold this way.

This was a recent trip to the grocery store. I hate those carts with the cars on the front and so when we go into the store I immediately have to inform Levi very firmly that we are not going to use one of those carts. I usually try to tell him while we are in the van and clearly line out all of my expectations but often have to re-inforce them as we are entering.
His favorite thing is to run ahead of the grocery cart, head down, arms swinging at his sides like a vaulter and then turn around and run back. This is usually fine during the week at nine in the morning when the store is more empty. But for some reason I decided to go after naps which meant it was around 4 and the store was packed. I had to keep getting on to him to stay with me.
At one point I handed him some spaghetti noodles to put in the basket. I turned around and heard pasta spilling all over the floor. There was a nice man walking down the aisle and he helped me pick as much of it up as I could.
Later we were in the dairy section and Levi was wanting to get the milk. It was too heavy for him on the higher shelf so I thought maybe he could grab it from a lower one. He did pretty good until he tried to lift it above his head into the cart. I totally should have seen it coming. The gallon of milk came crashing onto the floor and milk started gushing everywhere. What do you do in that situation? A grocery store worker saw it and went into the back to get a mop I assume. I just left the scene. I felt kind of terrible, but I don't know what my presence would have accomplished. Needless to say, we left as quickly as possible.
Finally we were checking out and Levi yells out to me, "I don't want any candy!" Again, trying his hand at reverse psychology. That's right Levi and I turn back to the groceries. I look back at him and he has a Mike and Ike candy open and is eating it. At this I freak out inside. We do not steal! I went and got the candy, paid for it and all the way out to the car I let him know that he had stolen and when we got home we would have a spanking. I'm not going to go into great detail about that last part, but you get the idea.

Oh my sweet Levi, I love it when you laugh, even your new creepy laugh you have developed. You are the best nose-blower (besides your daddy) I have ever met.  I'm sorry I never let you play with my phone. I'm also sorry about yelling at you for touching my computer. You remind me a lot of how I don't listen and obey well either. I love it when you are thankful. I love it when you share and play with your little sister, she thinks you're amazing even when you spew water into her face in the bathtub. I love it that when you wake up you always want to cuddle, except when I'm trying to make dinner.

You are my precious boy.

Levi Stories

Levi caught Aria chewing on a glass ball this afternoon. He yanked it out of her hands and threw it over her shoulder and it shattered on the window pane behind her. I think we all were a little surprised. Me, that he would throw something like that as though it were a rubber ball, Levi that it would actually break and Aria that her chew toy was so immediately taken from her.

The result was lots of crying. I had to just put her in her crib so that she would stay out of it, Levi squealed with delight as he watched me suck up the remains with the vacuum yelling that it was like a football. A football? Really? I have no idea what goes on in this kid's head sometimes. I realized I needed to explain to him that these things are fragile and they break easily so we can't just throw them around. Good job for taking it out of Aria's hands, but not a good job of doing something with it.

Oh the learning for a three year old.

Levi has this laugh... the best way I can describe it is that it sounds like a french pirate laugh. Or maybe just a french laugh. Whenever he makes a discovery or sees something cool he does this little "haw haw!" If I knew the symbol for making something nasally I would put that on there. But my diction class is not coming to memory right now. It's like when they say Sacrebleu! and the haw haw that goes before or after it... I can't remember. Anyways, I don't know where Levi got it, but he does that laugh. And it makes me laugh. Every time. We would see a squirrel or a garbage truck on our walk "haw haw!" I told him we were making Christmas cookies today, "haw haw!" Aria woke up from her nap, "haw haw!" Each one a new discovery or exclamation.

I think someday he will make a pretty good actor.

The other day I chided him for not watching where he was peeing and he looked up at me (as if to make up for it) and said, "I wike your hair mom."   Oh no, are we starting that already? This kid is too smart.

Letters To My Littles

Dear Levi,

On Friday you turned three. Already. And just like that you were a year older. Oh the changes I have seen in you as a three year old already (they've been coming about for a few months now). The maturity and decision-making abilities, the ability to follow through and remember what in the world you are doing. As a mom it has been life-changing.

Some say that the twos are terrible. I've heard a few others say that threes are worse. I'm not sure which category you will fall into. I'm hoping we have simply put the terribles behind us and are moving on. i have noticed a more passionate anger in you than before. You seem to have more stake in the game now that you can remember things a little better. You cried all the way home about a shovel we left at a friend's house one day. I thought for sure I could distract you or something but you would not be deterred. It wasn't until we pulled into a deserted parking lot, I got you out and spanked you that you realized I was serious. I told you that if you mentioned the shovel one more time that we would have another spanking. We hugged and I told you I love you and I want the best for you. I told you it was not appropriate to act the way you were acting and that is why I had to punish you. You didn't mention it again.

This week is Birthday Week in the Hefner House. Yours is the 23rd, mine is the 24th (meaning it will from now on be forgotten in the shadow of yours and I'm completely fine with that), and your Daddy's is the 29th. There are some more extended family birthdays in there too but I didn't want this to be such a long paragraph. I'm glad you start off Birthday Week, it's just right. I decided to tell you in advance that your birthday was coming up soon. I thought maybe you could handle the thought of waiting a few days for you birthday to come. I still didn't know how to explain the days of the week to you since we are still pretty inconsistent with our schedule and we had our friends over for most of the days. So I decided to take from the book "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle. Every time I read to you I include the author and if they wrote it for someone I read that part too. He wrote it for his sister Christa. You often repeat these parts back to me. Then I help you try to say your "L's" and we move on. I explained to you that the day we were on was Monday and on Monday the caterpillar ate through one apple and your birthday would not be until Friday when he would eat through five oranges. We talked about the days in between and what he ate on those days too. If anything, we did succeed in practically memorizing The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
My favorite parts are:
After he eats a ton of things on Saturday we both say together "and that night he had a stomach ache!" then we fall over and hold our stomachs making groaning noises.
You say in the lowest your three year old self can muster: "he was a big, fat cawerpiwar (caterpillar)." I laugh every time and you love it.
At the end he turns into a beautiful butterfly. The first ten-fifteen times we read it you asked where he was and I told you that he became the butterfly. Now we finish, you look at the picture and say in casual observance, "hm, dat's him."

The sad part about Birthday Week this year was that mommy became deathly ill. You would try to come up to me and hug me or kiss me and I had to tell you not to come near me because I was sick. One time, you went and got a throw pillow, put it on my legs and said, "Here mommy." I think you just wanted to help. So sweet.

Later, you would just come up and ask me in a soft, high voice, "Are ya sick mama?"

Levi, you are a gift given to me a thousand times over already. The way you make me laugh with your stories and dancing, they way you make me burst with pride as you obey and help. You have the most expressive eyes I have ever seen on anyone so young. I remember even as a baby you seemed to to intuitively know how to make people laugh. You are so much like me in that you can experience the whole gamut of emotions in just one day and you express them readily for all to see.

I pray that the Lord saves you at a young age and that you grow to know Him and love Him as your Daddy and I do. We pray that this passion and emotion would be used for His glory. We pray that you would grow in wisdom. We pray that you would have a love for learning and beauty. We pray that your sensitivity would render compassion for others. We pray that you would conquer your fears in the Lord and know that the God of all peace will watch over you and protect you.

We love you Levi. Happy Three Years.

Letter To My Little Ones

I think that this series is my favorite thing to write about right now. I love my kids.

Dear Levi,

The other day we found an excavator toy at a garage sale while we were out on our walk. Just you and me because daddy was home with Aria. Well worth the three dollars I paid for it. We got some more dirt from Mimi's house and the backyard is becoming a land flowing with dirt and honey. It's the first thing you ask to do when you wake up in the morning (even though it's 45 degrees outside). Because of this you tend to track a lot of it into the house. I am constantly sweeping and washing your pants that are caked with mud. I'm completely fine with it though. I think dirt is good for you. I'm glad you like to be outdoors, it's so healthy and clean. Plus, you're not inside trying to splash in my dishwater or make messes with the granola I am trying to make.

A friend was volunteering in children's church last week and she said she watched you during the main worship. She said you were the only kid who jumped around and did all the motions to the first song, (that's my boy) but when it came to the second song you lost interest and walked away from your class (this also sounds like you). I think you will be pretty social even though you're shy at first (we can work on that one). You are always asking if mommy or daddy will come and play with you and you are excited when we go play with friends. I so wish your cousin Caroline was still here in Little Rock. You had so much fun with her. Of course, at first you hated her back in December when they first came back from Africa. We couldn't leave the two of you together for thirty seconds without there being something. But by the time she had to leave in May she was one of your favorite friends. I'm sure she would dig with you in the back yard. We miss you Caro. Again, I am stumped at trying to explain to such a young, small person how big the world is.

 I love you so much,

Mama

Letters To My Little Ones

Dear Levi,

I wanted you to nap so badly today. But you didn't. I'm assuming you will read this when you are much older, right now you are three. At this moment you are playing next to me on the couch with your very well-loved red car. This is the car you got for Christmas and you refused to open any other presents afterwards. I don't think you could have imagined it getting any better than this red car. Your daddy tells me it's a Dodge Viper. I wouldn't know otherwise.

The thing about this car is that we've had it almost a year now and I will be amazed if it lasts. With all the love and playing time this car gets it has had a few casualties. Both side view mirrors, the rear view mirror, the doors don't close right, the windshield is gone, it lost both of the seats, only one little tail light is still in place and now the inside paneling in a door is gone. I love that you have so much love for this car. I love that when you first opened it you did nothing but lay on the floor and watch it's wheels move for a good 30 minutes while the chaos of cousins opening presents ensued all around you. Again, I am amazed at your ability to focus.

Today I was thinking about your brown eyes and the look you get when you wake up from your nap and you ask me, "What shoul' my do tuh-day?" Then you smile when I tell you that you should go outside and play in the dirt. I definitely want to make you an excavator cake for your soon approaching third birthday. I don't think that you get the idea that soon you won't "be" two. I'm struggling to explain to you what a year is and what age is. How do you explain this stuff who a small child who has no concept of time? The days just are. You wake up and play and then you eat and then you play ... time just isn't important in your world. How wonderful would that be to live in a world without the boundaries of time? You will understand this concept someday, I'm sure.

The other day you brought me a round lid (your steering wheel) and asked me if I wanted to go for a car ride. It is so hard for me to pull away from my chores in the kitchen sometimes, but I decided I needed a break. You drove us to Mimi's house and Deedee's house and to the grocery store. I was so proud of your imagination and how you took things and made them something else. I can't wait to see where else your imagination takes you.

One last thing: this afternoon Daddy was standing outside your door and listening while you were supposed to be taking your nap. He said you were telling your stuffed doggies to "cwose your eyes and way down on da bed!" I'm glad you take such good care of them and want to make sure they take their little naps. Cranky doggies are just no fun.

I love you my little man,

Mama

Letters to My Little Ones

Dear Levi,

You are almost three years old. How did you get this big? You won't believe kids grow fast until you're an adult, but I'm still going to say it anyways, time flies.

Your main interests are cars and trucks... and excavators. Anything involving construction "struction" or with a motor really. You seem to be fascinated with machines that have eyes. Your favorite characters right now are Thomas the Tank "tanken" Engine and Lightning "BaQueen" McQueen. I hope I always remember the little things you say, but I probably shouldn't have that much confidence in my memory and truly should be writing them down. You usually talk about these characters like this, "I want the one with the eyes!" Maybe it's because they can sit and watch you while you eat or go to the bathroom. Or sometimes we set them up so they can watch you do really cool stuff like jump on the couch. Basically, you love an audience. I'm wondering if you're a little like me. :)

The hardest part of the day for you (and consequently me) is getting ready for nap time. Every day you tell me, "no nap tuh-day." I tell you that yes, we will have a nap. Every day we have naps. You hold up a finger in response, "not tuh-day." You learned this phrase from me. Sometimes we have to talk about who is the mommy and who gets to call the shots. I think you will be a good leader someday because you are very skilled at ordering me and Daddy around.

My favorite times are evenings when you are trying to stay up later. You tell Daddy that you need a kiss from me so he comes and gets me before tucking you in. Sometimes I dilly dally with it and just talk to you about your day. On Sunday I asked if you had a good time at church and you said, "I take da toy." You did? Why did you take the toy? "I took da toy out of a boy's hands." Really? That is so sad. Did he cry? "Yes." And then, probably to take the spotlight off of your own sin you told me about how another little boy threw a rock at a little girl. I don't know why I think this story is hilarious, but it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. The rational mother in me is telling me to hold it in because we shouldn't take toys or throw rocks. But maybe it's just the simplicity of your honesty that just gets to me every time.

You are excellent at sitting and reading books. It makes me so proud to walk by a room and you are sitting there and reading or playing quietly with your cars. I know that you have a good attention span. Last Thanksgiving (you were barely two years old) you played with your cousin Trey's train set for hours. The doctor was so surprised to hear it because most two year olds only have a two minute attention span. Maybe it's because you were in train heaven.

You are very shy when first meeting people. Once you get to know them you do much better and even are kind of a show off. I'm trying to figure out how to teach you to be polite and at least say hello. Hopefully as you get older I can explain this to you.

Levi, watching you change and grow these past three years, I can't even imagine life without you. You are precious to me and I am excited about the years to come.

love,

Mama

Levi Stories

I've got to take a minute before I attack what can commonly be known as the Laundry Monster. It's a big scary beast of a thing that threatens to eat your laundry room alive if you do not tame it.
[I haven't done ANY laundry from Thursday until Monday ... yikes!!]

Anyways, I'm discovering that the more Levi learns to talk the better life gets. Yes, he does impose his will and has learned to say the word "No" as a complete sentence, but I think the cuteness of what he says far outweighs all that negative. That's just my opinion.

Levi is very good at knowing where we are in town. Last night I realized just how good he was when I turned down Fair Park to go to International Friendship Outreach's Conversation Club. We go to eat dinner with and talk to international students on Monday nights. Levi's favorite part is the brownie table. The table is just low enough for an almost three year old to reach the brownies quite nicely. Most of the time he asks for a brownie before he takes one. Most of the time. Anyways, we had just turned down the road to Conversation Club when he asked, "Whur (where) we going?" and immediately followed it with, "We gonna have a brownie?" I realized he knew EXACTLY where we were going.

Another funny part of the evening for me was when I took him to the restroom. We were in there and overheard some girls talking in Chinese. When we stepped out of the stall he went right up to one and asked, "What yer talkin' about?" He knew they were communicating, he just couldn't understand. They probably couldn't understand him either.

Levi takes a nap every day and EVERY DAY he tries to convince me that we don't go night night until it's dark outside. Every day. Every day we finish lunch and he starts to tell me, "when it's dark outside, that's when we go to sleep. We don't go to sleep when the sun is still up." No buddy, I'm really sorry, but we are going to take a nap. Today we are going to take a nap just like yesterday and the day before. Every day he says, "I don' wan go nigh nigh." (It's usually all blurred together in what sounds like one word.

We are also working on the difference between yesterday and a while back.

"Yeserday, I got my hand in the door at Deedee's house and it was ouch!"

Yep. That was about a month ago.

After making Levi a peanut butter and jelly sandwich last night he looked up and said, "Thank you for makin' this for me mommy."
Oh Levi, for that I could make you a thousand more.

Levi Stories

I don't have time for a real blog post but I thought I would post a few cute things Levi has said lately.

On the way to my parent's house tonight I hear YELLED from the backseat: "I saw was a doooooog!" (pronounced: I sawwazadog) or "I saw was a pwane!' (plane) He will continue to repeat this phrase with the same caliber until I answer him. "Wow Levi! Good job, you are good at finding things."

Pronunciations:
Guacamole is "muacamowee"
Bacon is "binking"
Painting is "pinking"


A sad story: Levi not getting a sucker for good behavior at Whole Foods. I had to carry him out screaming. He kept yelling "I OBEY! I OBEY!" Sorry buddy, you are too late.


He was playing with Aria's toes today and did this version of the little piggies:
'An dis widdle piggy went wee, an dis widdle piggy went wee, an dis widdle piggy went WEEEEE!
Then he would reach up and tickle her neck and she would just laugh. Watching this was probably my favorite part of the whole day.

More Levi Stories

I have to remember to blog about Levi stories more and more. He is saying all these cute things and I need to write them down before they slip by. Here are a few.

We have a backseat driver. We will be just driving along and all of the sudden we hear from the back seat,"Go dis way!" Mostly, he is pointing for us to go in the direction of Mimi or Deedee's house. I'm pretty sure he could direct anyone to their houses. This led me start to explain left and right to him. I realized how difficult that is because as soon as you turn left, it's no longer left anymore, it's straight ahead. I think slowly but surely he's getting it though. For a two and a half year old I think that's pretty good. I still get my left and right mixed up.

Whenever Levi has something on his face, a bug bite, scratch or some leftover food I told him to wipe off, he always has a desire to see it in the mirror. Exclaims, "I show da mirror!" and runs into our bathroom where there is a full length mirror (low enough for him to see himself without help) and looks intently.

I wish I could explain just how his mannerisms are. We are finding he can be very serious. My favorite serious look is when he furrows his brow so that his eyebrows form a straight line. His big brown eyes look so intent as though they are  forming a straight line as well. He looks as though he is telling you the most important thing in the world and often raises a finger to help him with his point. There is something very adult about the intensity with which he talks. You can almost see his little mind working as he is trying his hardest to form sentences.

A few weeks ago Ben was riding his bike to work. He was trying to stop at a stop sign, not paying attention, and messing with his phone. Note to self: do not text and ride. Of course, he fell off his bike. Nothing was broken, all was in tact but he got some pretty nasty wounds all over his back, elbow and legs. He continued on to work but called me to tell me about it when he got there. When I hung up the phone I told Levi that Daddy had had an accident. Levi immediately looked at me with his serious face and said, "Daddy needs a take da purple car!" (our car isn't exactly purple, but that's about the closest color we can think to call it, another close color might be brown... it's more fun to call it the purple car though). I was kind of amazed at Levi's reasoning skills. Daddy wrecked his bike, therefore he needs to take the car.

Also, for the next week Ben would be doing something and Levi would come up next to him, see his wounds and asked, "Wa happened to yer knee?" (sometimes pointing to his ankle, note to self: work on the names of body parts with Levi). Ben would have to explain to Levi once more that he fell off his bike and he hurt himself.
Levi: "Oh ... you okay?"
Ben: "Yes, I'm okay."
Levi: "You need ta take da purple car."

Ben was much better this week so he took his bike to work again. As he was pedaling off and we were waving Levi called to him, "Don't faw woff yer bike!"

So helpful.