Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bits and Pieces

Wow, how many millions of things do I want to blog about right now. I want to write about being a mom and how that has changed me. I want to write about what I am learning in the book of Daniel and how I want to be wise. I want to write about how the Lord is changing my body image. I want to write about saying goodbye to friends and having long-distance friends... and the list goes on.

Lord, what should I write about today?

I wanted to just say on here that a few weeks ago I was talking about struggling with my body image and food and I realized that I just needed to stop. I needed to stop thinking about it. I needed to stop obsessing over it. I needed to stop punishing myself for eating the "wrong" things and I needed to stop criticizing my body every time I look in the mirror.

It's a work in progress but over the past few weeks I have asked the Lord to remove those things from my heart and mind and He has been faithful. I'll just say that.

I guess that change has allowed me to focus more time and energy on my kids, my husband, my household and others outside.

I also spend a lot less time on pity parties and hating myself. This is good.

Do I want to write about the elections? No. God establishes kings and He is the one who brings them down. That's all I'm going to say. I did vote though.

I just spent a morning with some very dear friends. There was laughter, kids, tears, heart-wrenching, beautiful stuff. This is a group of women I have grown to absolutely love. We have breakfast together every Thursday morning. The rules are: come as you are. Don't worry about putting on makeup or combing your hair or taking a shower, just come. If you want to bring food, bring it. There will be coffee (praise the Lord) and if you need to lay your baby down in a back room, do it. If you need to put your child in a naughty chair or take them to another room and spank them, we will not judge you. We are all young mothers with children ages 5 and under. I think what I love about it is that it's just real. It can be raw, it can be quite chaotic with several 18-24 month and beyond children (this is the hardest age in my mind because they can do stuff but communication is difficult). As moms we have learned to block out the chaos and just talk.

Why are we not more like that? I think especially as Christians who live in the Bible Belt there is this persona that we want to keep up or something. We want to keep people out of our dirty kitchens and messy lives. But I think that's the only way that healing can take place. If we keep putting up just this pretty front, we are just going to keep dying inside.

Lord, thank you for this fellowship. Thank you for other women who encourage me, admonish me and lift me up. Thank you that you are the author and perfecter of our faith. Thank you for bringing this into my life. You give and you take away.

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