I have so many friends who are pregnant, nursing and just in those early childbearing years. So many times I want to sit down and tell them all of my lessons, mess ups, successes and mistakes I've made along the way. I learn things best the hard way. Then it's forever imprinted in my brain and I can just go from there.
This is just me speaking from my experience in having babies. I hope you enjoy!
Lesson #1: Take care of yourself.
Seriously, it's your dang body that is growing and birthing this baby, you need to eat right, exercise and rest well. This is super challenging when you are sick, have heartburn, achy joints craving weird things... but do your best! Usually in my first trimester the thought of a salad makes me want to vomit and all I want is junk food. The good thing is that usually only lasts for about 6-7 weeks and then I feel like eating healthy again. Try to eat as healthy as possible with a few indulgences here and there.
With Levi I only gained 30 lbs but then lost 50 lbs by nursing and eating fairly healthfully (I still had ice cream and stuff like that on occasion).
With Aria I thought, "Heck, I lost all that weight, it doesn't matter what I eat!" So I gained all 50 pounds back by eating all the things. I did lose all the weight again but it would have been easier had I not gained so much.
With Simeon I walked a ton and was super active. He had the best birth and I think I only gained 30 lbs with him. I took naps most days and ate pretty intuitively.
With Paul and Jethro I overdid it. I thought I could push my body extra hard because I thought I was super mom or something like that. I have been paying for the ways I did not listen to my body and it trying to tell me to slow down or remove stress.
I'm also a lot older now (try 10 years) and I think I need to just be very careful of what I am eating and how I am taking care of my physical body.
So yeah, take care of yourself. Eat your fruits and veggies and plenty of fats and proteins with a few indulgences here and there. Exercise and keep moving but don't over-exercise. Watch out that you're not putting too much stress on your body. Rest when you feel tired.
Lesson #2: Make sure your baby is in the right position
Levi was butt down so he was a C-section. I'm forever scarred for this and will never have a completely normal, stress free birth because of it. Oh well, that's just my lot in life.
Not only do babies need to be head down, but they need to be anterior! Aria was my lesson for that one. She was facing the wrong way. Babies need to face the mother's spine in order to put the right pressure on the cervix. I was in labor with Aria for three days. I would lay down and my body would have painful contractions and then I would stand up and they would go away. It wasn't until I was 2 days into labor that a midwife friend came to my house and diagnosed her position. I started doing a position called Deep Knee Chest where you basically stick your butt in the air with your knees and chest on the floor and you hang out there for about 20 minutes at a time. Praise the Lord, she turned and then my body went into real active labor. I was so tired though it took me a long time to even push her out.
Looking back I probably would have gotten an epidural when we got to the hospital just so I could rest. Even though I was at an 8, it wasn't until about 3-4 hours later that I pushed her out and was completely exhausted. I hadn't rested for three days and hadn't eaten much in those days either. I also would not use the birthing stool again.
**side note** my last three pregnancies the babies were all posterior but I was able to turn them before going into labor, so their births were much smoother. I did it by doing Deep Knee Chest position every night during the last few weeks of the pregnancy.
Lesson #3: Practice Labor Denial and labor techniques
You can relax against the pain of labor. Simeon's was the best labor and I would only categorize his as "painful" for about 30 minutes of it. Even when it was painful, I somehow breezed through it.
He was in the right position. I had been walking every day, getting into Deep Knee Chest every night and praying that this labor would not be like the last one.
I started having contractions in the morning and I just breathed through them. They weren't comfortable, but the more I relaxed and breathed, the better they were. If I tensed against them, they were much harder to get through. But they would only last a minute or so and sometimes be 20-30 minutes apart. I played with the kids that day, we went for a walk (up and down hills mind you) and then we all took a nap. I honestly didn't even think I was in labor. I woke up from my nap and had lost my mucus plug. We went to dinner at my in-laws that night and left our kids there "just in case"
I went to bed early (8:00) because I was so tired but then woke up at 10:30 and made myself a bowl of cheerios because I was hungry and then decided to time my contractions. I don't think I was thinking clearly because they were a minute and a half long and about 2 minutes apart, but I decided I would go back to bed because it wasn't as painful as my last birth. But when I went to lay down my water broke. I realized then that I needed to go to the hospital so I woke up Ben. That's when the contractions were very painful. HOWEVER, I started moaning deeply and it really really helped. I also listened to calming scripture lullabies in my earbuds and that really helped. I got to the hospital in 7 minutes, got up on the hospital bed and pushed him out. Yes, it was painful but it was amazing. I would have 20 more births like that if I could.
Practice guided relaxation. Practice breathing. Walk, distract yourself, rest.
Lesson #4: Recover well
I thought I was supermom and could do it all. I thought I could just push out a baby and keep up with life as normal! No, having a baby is not normal and it requires a lot of time and attention. It's a huge shift in your family as you are adding a new little person to your midst. It's such a miracle! Breastfeeding always has it's struggles but usually they are worked out around 3 months or so. If you can't breastfeed, don't beat yourself up about it, formula is not poison! I have had supply issues with both of my last two and it's been something I've cried a lot about and struggled with. I'm still nursing Jethro but he has had to be supplemented since day 5.
In those first two weeks try to lay down as much as possible. Get someone to help you. It will help your uterus to heal fully. You have to treat your body as though you had an injury and just not doing anything for 6 weeks (except maybe go to a movie with your hubby).
Enjoy that time, you will be healing and figuring out your baby. You will be up at all hours of the night, it's really difficult but at the same times really beautiful.
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