It's been a while

 

It's been a while. I've been thinking about blogging lately but have felt like maybe I'm just a poser.

I don't have time to write, I have six kids. 

I don't have time to write, I homeschool those kids. 

I need to focus on my songwriting. 

I need to focus on my disciples. 

I need to clean my house, do my laundry, cook meals settle fights, practice piano, guitar, lesson prep. 

Well, maybe I will just jot down a few thoughts. I've filled up enough journals lately. 

I still need to finish Abel's birth story. It's been 18 months now. 

I've been reading Andrew Peterson's Adorning the Dark and I love it. I think that's partly why I want to write. His honesty is inspiring. I want to be honest in that way too. I also read one of my old blog posts and actually enjoyed it. 

Community living is hard sometimes. Sometimes it's amazing because there are so many people around to help and to take cooking nights and help clean and all that stuff. But sometimes it makes me realize how wicked I am inside. How judgmental and cruel I can be. Thankfully I have friends who shoot it to me straight and remind me of the Word in Ephesians that says, "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4 also goes on to say not to grieve the Holy Spirit, I've been feeling His grief inside of me because I have not been ridding myself of all bitterness and rage and malice as it goes on to say.  

It's good to get punched in the gut and be shown that you are not doing it right. It's good to see that the Word is profitable for all teaching and rebuke and wisdom. 

I am so thankful for my sisters who look to see what's inside of me, and judge my heart by the living and active Word of God. 

I've been on Facebook and Instagram too much lately.  Sometimes it feels like you are sticking your head in a toilet with all that's on there. 

I need to walk over and see my neighbors more often. I don't just go see them enough. I need to do better at that. 

I can't believe it will be 2022 next week. 

How did my babies get this big? How does time go so quickly?

That's all for today.