This is a post I've been wanting to write for a while, but haven't known how to begin. So, here goes.
Hefner baby #3 is on it's way!
Yes, we are pregnant again.
Was this on purpose? We didn't intend for it to happen this soon, but we are pleasantly surprised. We believe children are a blessing from the Lord and we are enjoying our other two very much, so we are looking forward to adding the third.
I am 10 weeks and 6 days as of today. I went to my first Dr's appointment yesterday and their ultrasound confirmed my January 9th due date. This puts the baby due exactly one day after Aria's second birthday. I wasn't particularly excited about this timing, but I'm praying that their birthday sharing will just be a special bond between their friendship. Levi practically shares a birthday with me and Ben and so why not these two share a birthday? I'm also thinking that we are going to celebrate half birthdays since January and November are terrible times for parties. I know this from experience. November 24th did not fare well for me in this area. People are usually visiting relatives around this time.
Have I had morning sickness? Yes, but it hasn't been terrible. I just feel nauseous here and there, but it hasn't been too overwhelming most of the time. The thought of cooking does make me sick to my stomach, also, just thinking about food, planning meals, aversions to raw vegetables... not cool.
Do I like being pregnant? I hear from most moms that they don't particularly like or enjoy being pregnant. I hear from a few moms that they love being pregnant. I'm probably more in the thinking that I don't like being pregnant. There's just something about a foreign little body that is taking over your body and it just feels unfair. Still, I keep thinking about how this is a gift and I don't want to despise it. I think of so many friends who want to become pregnant and are unable to and I realize just how selfish I am. Bringing a human life into this world, being a gateway for this new soul to enter is a huge honor and responsibility. This child has been given to me and no one else, God has given me a body that is capable of having a baby. This is through no merit of my own. From the way I have treated my body these past 28 years I should have no right to carry a child, but still, God is full of grace and mercy. Lord, help me to be thankful. Thank You for this honor, let me not despise it.
Will I have another natural childbirth? I pray so. Even though having Aria was the hardest, most painful thing I have ever done, I want to do it again. Mainly because I believe I will have a different attitude and mindset about the labor and what it will be like. I'm going to try to get a lot more rest during this next labor, and also employ my friend's method of labor denial. Just keep denying the fact that you're in labor and focus on relaxing and distracting yourself. I'm sure when the time comes to push this baby out I will be terrified. But that's okay, I feel like it's worth it.
Lord, this child is Your gift to me. I am in awe that You would bless our family again in Your perfect timing and not ours. Help me to focus on You and to draw near to You in this time of weakness and uncomfortableness. I need You! Help me to eat healthfully, to think pure thoughts, just to be focusing on You and listening to Your Holy Spirit in all I do. You are so good and so faithful.