Happy Belated Birthday Aria

*** I meant to post this back on January 8th when Aria turned three, but I seemed to have forgotten. I'm sorry sweet girl.



Dear Aria,

Wow, you are growing up. You are changing from a crazy two year old into a delightful three year old. And I love it. I love you.

When you wake up in the morning it's usually a joyful experience. Your hair does something crazy against your pillow all night and you have an enormous fuzz ball at the back of your cute little head. It definitely means you slept well.

You love to suck your thumb and stick your finger in your belly button. It's your safe place, your security. I see you go for it when you are in a new situation or when you're getting tired or insecure. You love your little thumb in general. So much so that your teeth are starting to shift around it. This habit needs to be stopped so that we don't pay $10,000 in orthodontia in the future.

Did you know that you have the most beautiful eyes? I love them. They are almond shaped and mysterious. So many times when I look at your china doll face with your perfect round cheeks I just want to kiss them.

I'm sorry I don't always do a very good job at cutting your bangs. I know sometimes they are slightly uneven, but I try. Maybe by the time you start to care then I will be better. You also wiggle a lot when I'm trying to cut them, so maybe I'm not fully to blame.

Aria, you are a treasure to me. Happy Birthday my love.

A request for prayer

I am writing to just ask for prayers right now. Ben is having to decide between two very different jobs in these next few days, or it might be decided for him, we are still kind of in the waiting and I can't explain all the details… but if you could pray for wisdom for us, I would very much appreciate it.


Lord, You are our ultimate provider. We look to You for everything. Thank You for calling us to a life of faith. May we live it fully for You. I don't want all the treasures of this world, I want You and Your Holy Spirit and I want to do whatever I can to be more and more dependent on You. Ben and I are finding more and more that the things of this world are not satisfying and the only thing that will ever fill us to completion is You. We want to follow You wherever.

We need Your direction Lord! Open doors or close them, we are Your sheep, the people of Your pasture.

Update and a Request

It's been pretty quiet on here lately. I think about blogging a lot but then I think, no, that's not that profound. Whatever.

This one might just be an update.

Just to document what is going on in our lives right now.

Levi is learning to read. We got the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I've been pretty impressed with the way that they teach. It's only 15 minutes a day and I help him a lot (because he's only four, he'll be five in November) but it's been exciting to watch. He loves encouragement and when I hug him when he does a good job. This kid's love language is for sure words of encouragement and physical touch.

Aria's potty training is going well when I'm on my A Game. If I forget to take her, we usually have an accident. I'm totally okay with that. It's really a mommy-training instead of a potty training. Levi did the same thing and he now goes all by himself. She continues to say as few words as possible. I feel like I'm watching a silent film when I watch her play. She's just quietly going about her business, maybe destroying something, maybe rocking her dolly, you never know. I do need to work on her pronunciation. I was so diligent with Levi and he speaks so perfectly, I was hoping she would pick it up, but I can literally barely understand her sometimes. It makes life pretty frustrating at times.

Simeon's officially mobile… he does the army crawl and occasionally gets up on his hands and knees to see how that feels. I have to watch him now and make sure he doesn't pick up some little thing and choke on it. You would be amazed at that little pieces of things he finds on the floor. He is a constant joy though. He laughs easily and loves all the kids, even though they can be a little crazy sometimes. I can tell he wants to be in there among them as soon as possible. He's eating table food and FINALLY sleeping through the night. I've found the fuller I feed him at dinner, the longer he sleeps…. Duh… He might be starting to put on some more weight now, which is good because his pants keep coming off when he crawls.

Ben is still on the job market. We are encouraged with the amount of exposure he's been getting. It seems there might be some promising futures on the horizon and he might actually get a choice at where he gets to work… but you never know. We are praying for an opportunity right now for him to work remotely with this one company. It's been nice for him to work at his desk in the basement and then be able to come up for meals. It saves a ton of money on gas and food for sure. :) Lord, You are our Providor. Apart from You we can do nothing. You give and You take away, let us bless You in every circumstance.

I'm learning to walk in step with the Lord. I'm learning a lot about having self-control, taming my tongue, being slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry. It's good when you have a loving community of friends around you to point out things to you. Stuff I might not have been aware of otherwise, or excused away because I was "stressed out" or "upset" … I'm learning not to give excuses. :)

More than anything, I think I would covet your prayers for my friend, sister, mentor, housemate and  fellow mother Debbie. She found out she was pregnant with a surprise baby number four in August. She persevered through that first trimester like a champ, we were all so excited about this surprise blessing on it's way. At twelve weeks she had her first appointment with a midwife (she's a home-birther) on a Friday. During the appointment the midwife was unable to find the heartbeat. It might have still been okay, but she needed to go get an ultrasound to make sure everything was alright. That next Tuesday a devastating ultrasound revealed that the baby did not survive. The days that followed have been difficult. It's been a time of grieving a life hoped for. The thing is, the hardest part is not yet over. She has had no bleeding, the baby's remains and everything are still inside. So she still has to go through what we are expecting will be about a third of labor and a third of a physical and emotional/hormonal recovery. Our prayer is that it would happen soon. Since Debbie's a natural birther it makes sense that she would want for things to come out naturally instead of going to a hospital and being put under for a DNC. Debbie is a strong woman and I hate utmost respect for her. My heart breaks for what she is having to walk through right now. So I just ask for prayer for her in these next difficult weeks to come.

Lord, You see all of this. You walk with us through all of this… life in this broken, fallen world and all the hurt. We are desperate for You. You were a man of sorrows and well acquainted with grief. Jesus, thank You that You are not some far away priest, but You walked this stuff of loss and tragedy. Be with us. Walk with us. We need You Holy Spirit.

Perspective

I should be going to bed, but instead I wanted to post on my blog. I've been having a lot of thoughts lately and I just wanted to get them out. Just so I could look at them and see what I am really thinking.

Ben is still looking for a job. He had an awesome interview the other day but he probably won't get it because another person within the company is applying for it and will probably win out in the end. Oh well, we know that we are in the Lord's hands and He is totally taking care of us.

Food continues to come in through our front door for our many little mouths to feed. We are praying about how we can be a blessing to the community around here and really begin to reach out to the poor and needy.

Debbie is pregnant.


I can't even believe that one. I'm totally pumped for her. Four kids by the time she is 30 is quite an accomplishment. Today is her birthday and she is being whisked away by her husband to spend a few days away from it all. You'll probably find out more about it on social media later from her if you want details.

Six kids ages six and under is still no small challenge, even for two moms. Sometimes I think it's harder because there are two of us and we are each only responsible for our own children. We don't spank each other's children but it's kind of an awkward conversation when you're like, "Hey, your kid hit my kid, can you please give them a spanking?" or "Your kid just talked to me disrespectfully and refused to obey, do you want to do something about that?" … I don't know, it's just challenging at times. Honestly, we just need a lot of grace for each other and love for each other's kids. Two year olds are just difficult. So are three and four year olds and even six year olds at times. Sometimes you just want to knock their little heads together and tell them to get a clue. But you can't do that, so you try as hard as you can to be a patient as you can and pray to Jesus that He will not allow you to do any permanent damage on their precious little spirits.

We are about to add another single girl to the commune. Can I call it that? That means that 12 people will be living here. Gabriel's mom AKA: Emmie, or as I would like to call her: an Angel From Heaven Above is here for two weeks so she makes 13. Between us all we have two and a half bathrooms. There are six bedrooms being utilized … and one washer and one dryer. Whew. We can do this.

I keep reminding myself of this:

There are people in this world who have like ten people all living in a single 10x10 room or smaller. There are people who have to use a communal squatty potty (I've been to the refugee camps in thailand, I know this firsthand) There are people in this world who don't have running water. They don't have dishwashers or refrigerators or washing machines or vehicles (between all of us we have a RIDICULOUS amount of vehicles). The truth is that we have it GOOD. We have showers and sinks where water magically comes out if you just turn a simple handle. It's amazing. We have phones and computers which allow us to be connected to the rest of the world. We have AIR CONDITIONING that allows us not to get too hot in our house.

We. Are. Blessed. Period.

If you hear me start to complain about needing some more space or something like that, just slap me upside the head please.


All in all I'm really excited about this new girl moving in though. There is a depth that you get to know someone when you see them in the morning and then at night and you just hang out with them on a very regular basis. You get to see them at their best and their worst. It's a beautiful thing. I'm very excited about her coming to live with us.

Lord, thank You for perspective. Let me never lose a heart of gratitude. Show me how to be thankful for each day, for each moment and each treasure. Help me to live and breathe in You. Please teach me to walk humbly, to love mercy and to do justly. I need You God. I desperately need You. On my own I do this stuff very poorly, so help me depend on You.

Life Lately

Okay, so I haven't had much time to write lately. I feel bad because I'm sure a lot of my Little Rock friends are wondering what is going on with me lately.

Here's what's happening: we're still alive. 

I guess you could tell that from my Facebook and Instagram anyways. 

We are deep into community and communal living. Can I just say this? I love it. This is the way we were meant to live as believers. We need each other and we need new perspectives. I love living with the Mayes and I love it that we have a single guy who lives with us as well. We are able to encourage one another, help each other, serve one another in so many ways. I'm praying that if or when God moves us out of this house, He will give us another family to live life on life with. 

Don't get me wrong. It's not been all flowers and roses. There have been some hard moments when my actions have been called into question or our parenting has needed some critique. Those things have nit necessarily been easy to hear, but they have been good for us to hear. I was reading in Proverbs 12 today. Verse one says "Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid." Yep. Lord, teach me to receive correction, let me change to be more Christlike in my character, in my parenting, as a wife and as a sister in Christ. 

Ben is still on the hunt for a job, we are continuing to trust The Lord and pray for His provision. So many times lately He has provided groceries (basically the only thing we are helpng pay for other than gas) just from other dropping off food or getting food pantry items. It's always exactly what we need. We have also found ways to be frugal but still have fun. Last week we rode the train to a neighboring town and walked to their park and brought a picnic, the train was only $6 for all of us. The week before we went to a beach here in Crystal Lake, it was after 5:30, so we got in for free and then picnicked on the beach. It's been a lot of fun and forced us to be more creative with our resources. 

Levi is loving having constant playmates around.  When he's not building Legos with Gracen he's usually playing mommy and daddy with Darby or cars with Deacon. Aria and Deacon have finally become friends. I think before they just tolerated each other but this past week they have actually started playing together. I mean like, for real playing. I think they now consider each other friends ... Maybe. It very much reminds me of when Levi's cousin Caroline came back from Africa two years ago and for the first month or two they fought constantly, we could not leave them alone together. But by the end of the four month period of her being here they were best buds.  I still look back on that with fondness in my heart. 

We are attempting some potty training this week with the two year olds ... So keep Debbie and me in your prayers if you think of us.

I feel like God just keeps stripping away layers and layers of pride in my life. I was thinking, they I'm pretty awesome, we are going up to help with a church up here in Chicago, we got this... But I thni more than anything God is wanting my humble submission. I'm struggling a lot with taking the humble place. Well, maybe not struggling with it, I mean, I'm doing it or it's happening, that's one reason why I haven't blogged in a while, because I have been asking, am I doing this for my glory or for God's? I'm coming into a place of questioning all of my motives, and it's a good thing. I feel like The Lord had to pull us out of our normal lifestyle in Little Rock and bring us up here to where we would be uncomfortable and where we would have to depend on Him even more. 

Lord, please change me. 

Teach me to be humble. 

Teach me to seek You with all my heart.

Show me Your ways and Your paths, I need You. 

I have nothing else. 

A New Phone

I sat down to do my normal Bible study and just felt like the Lord was telling me to write.

It was a rough night last night with Simeon. It took several tries to finally get him down (this often happens when he's overtired) and then several times throughout the night he would cry so I just brought him in bed and nursed him. Then I would wake up sometime later, put him back in bed and then he would cry later on and I would go get him again. All in all it makes for a confusing night and I'm not sure he needs to be fed so much.

Anyways, I wanted to blog about my phone and the loss and the restoration and all of that story.

After I posted a picture yesterday Ben told me I need to give credit where credit is due. :) Our friends, the Spena's gave us their iPhone 4S, (Ben had a plain old 4 that was on the brink) so Ben decided to up grade his phone and instead of giving me the 4S he gave me the 5S that he could have taken for himself. He would not have been able to do that without the gift from the Spena's though and we are so thankful for generous friends

He gave me the nicer phone because I take all the pictures and it has a nicer camera. I had just better be super diligent about not LOSING this one. Oh my gosh…

So many times when I look back at that fateful day of losing everything I just want to kick myself and be like, "You idiot!" I seriously lost hundreds of dollars worth of stuff that day. Gone. In the blink of an eye. … I can't even talk about this right now.

Lord, help me not to live inside of regret. It's a place that paralyzes me and flattens me down to nothing. Help me to just learn from my mistakes and move on. Help me to be diligent and mindful of where my stuff is and keeping track of it. Let me not be lazy as I am getting ready and help me to remember to put things in the right places when we get home.

Thank You for loving us and taking care of us even when we do stupid stuff.

Thank You for always providing in spite of our mistakes sometimes.

Thank You for letting us learn lessons and suffer consequences.

God, if there's anything I've learned in these past few weeks, it's that You are all sufficient. You are all that I need.

No Regrets

I'd rather be pursuing food blogs right now… that's what I'd rather do.

But I think I just need to process. So why not do it online?


Dear TSA and Southwest Airlines,

I hope you find my bag and my phone. It would be so awesome if you did.

Sincerely,

Jody


I really really really miss my phone. I was thinking about that today. I miss being able to call someone and chat while I drive. I miss my friends texts (goofy and serious) and the connectedness I felt with them. I miss being able to take pictures of cute things my kids do and then post them on social media.

We have decided that I probably need to just get a new phone and a smart one would be ideal because it will be able to navigate for me. It will also be able to take pictures and videos. The only thing is that we would have to bite the bullet financially to get it. No, we are not going into debt by any means, just cutting into our nice, pretty pile of money we have saved. It's just frustrating.

I haven't really bought many new clothes. I mean, I got a skirt and two shirts for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, my sister gave me a pair of shorts (which I love so far, Faded Glory, who knew?) and a shirt. I bought two more shirts from Target and then that's about it.

Ben's parents gave me one of their Bibles which was similar to the one I lost. I love them and their generosity. It's good to just have a Bible I can mark up now and make my own. I've been using little pieces of paper as a journal. I should have bought one the other day, but I just don't spend money. I always think, "I can hold out a little longer."

I was talking to Ben about this nagging feeling I have of regret. Thinking: why did we fly? Why didn't we just drive? At least we wouldn't' have forgotten so much stuff, we wouldn't have inconvenienced my parents by using their van, I would still have my phone, we would have been fine to drive… Then Ben pointed out that if we had driven I would have been miserable. We would be in the car with three kids four and under for 39 hours. It would have been stupid.

So maybe I just need to live and learn.

-Keep track of your stuff
-Don't freak out at airports
-Don't regret stuff


Lord, help me to live with no regrets. I struggle with this because it's easy to look back and wish I had done things differently. But if I spend all my time wishing I had done something different, then I won't enjoy what I'm doing right now. Lord, help me to live in the moment and for the future. Help me to look ahead and around me. Let me learn and move on. I'm struggling now Lord, help my heart and my emotions to catch up with what I know to be true: You are sovereign. You work all things together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose.

Thank You for perspective Lord.