Wow, I kind of don't even want to post about this right now. That's a horrible way to start out a blog post isn't it? I think there are several reasons. One is that there's not much to report. I don't have a scale so I don't really know if I have lost much day to day, my clothes maybe feel a little bit looser, but that's hard to tell... I don't know. I think another reason is because I was having this great morning accountability partner. Every morning we would call each other, I would go on my morning walk and she would be on her way to work (she works pretty early, leaves around 6:45-7 range) and we would talk about what we ate and why and if we had exercised and stuff. Well, of course I messed things up. I was pretty forward with kind of telling her to do stuff. Not just weight loss stuff, but life stuff. I am hesitant to write this because she will probably read it, though I'm not 100 percent sure. ... so how do I explain this? I messed up. I am big on speaking truth and speaking into others lives. I could name a few people that I have kind of crossed the line with in this area. Some of them have come back and told me that it hurt and I am so thankful for those people.
Over time I have realized that I'm not very good at flowering up things and putting them in terms that are super kind. I'm just not. I remember trying to tell one of my roommates in college that I had a problem with what she was doing, it was kind of a confrontation and she was like, "Jody, just tell me." I think this ability, trait, I don't know what you would call it, has cost me a few friendships and honestly, it kind of sucks.
Lord, help me to speak the truth in LOVE. I am really good at the truth part, but not so good at the love and seasoning my words with salt. I know I can be overwhelming sometimes and that's why I sometimes back off, that's why I'm afraid to say ANYTHING sometimes. I don't want to be afraid to speak, but I just want to be led by You. This is a hard thing to learn Father, I'm really bad at it. I want to hear the Holy Spirit's voice as if it were audible. Just TELL me what to say and how to say it. Please let my words and my heart be pleasing to You. Let me glorify You in my friendships. Teach me to love others and listen to them. I'm really bad at listening and just asking questions. How often do I just pass up what other people are saying or disengage so that I can think of what I want to say next? Please let me view others as more important than myself.
Yeah. So maybe this post wasn't as much about the outside of my body as it was about the inside.