Sometimes I just don't want to post.
Do you ever feel that way? Really, right now I'm wishing I had a big bowl of ice cream I could chow down on while watching some kind of show on my computer. But seeing as I am trying to lose those last 15 pounds I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Mind over matter.
Kids have opened up new realms into my life. I think the biggest thing has been creativity and fighting tooth and nail to actually have fellowship in my life. It's not as easy as coordinating coffee dates and getting up and going. Nope. You need to find a sitter or you have to take them with you. My friend and I were talking today about how playdates are not actually fun for moms sometimes. The reason? "Okay, did I get the diaper bag? Does it have diapers in it? Do I have snacks? Do I have drinks for the kids if they are thirsty? Has everyone gone to the bathroom? Okay, get in the car, no, don't get in the driver's seat and start pushing buttons and turning nobs! Where are your shoes? The baby is now crying, she needs a nap, we are 20 minutes late..." and then the people you are trying to meet are 40 minutes late so then you just sit there on the playground with your kids for 20 minutes after rushing out the door and forgetting to throw those extra diapers in the bag. It's inevitable that if you forget extra diapers you WILL have a poopy diaper. I am not a superstitious person but this is something I actually believe and go by. Seriously.
Anyways, I am learning you just have to fight for it. Lord, help me to learn flexibility. Help me to know how to have community with others around me. I am so weak in this sometimes.
I got to hang out with another friend today. We were talking about why do we do the things that we don't want to do (like overeat) and why do we not do the things that we do want to do (like read our Bibles). We put it off, we procrastinate, we make excuses.
I finally realized that this correlates completely with trying to parent a two-year-old. Levi is getting to the age when he will put me off and try to get around obeying me. It will cause him more effort to disobey me than to obey. Usually the consequences are more painful as well. I've been reading in Paul Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart about how obedience is submission. Submission is like this dirty word in our culture. But really, we will always have authority and things will go well for us if we submit. Life will be so much better for Levi if he would submit to his authority. If he submits and obeys he will eat what is on his plate, he won't go running out into traffic, he will be a more pleasant child to be around and people will actually enjoy being around him.
We procrastinate, put off and make excuses because we don't want to obey. Wow. This is so my heart. I want to do what I want to do and I want to do it now. God says, "I know you better and this is what is good for you, I'm going to slowly speak into your heart and I'm going to give you loving consequences for your actions."
Lord, help me to obey. Even when it is hard. I need Your help. I pray that I would discover the joy of obedience. Teach me to listen to You as I want my son to listen to me. That my ear would be attuned to everything You have to say.