I keep trying to just start in the middle of Romans because Romans eight is so good. But I keep thinking, "No, I need to start further back here so that we have a whole picture." I am now to chapter one. Okay Lord, you want me to read Romans? I haven't read Romans in a while. It's kind of a big, huge, scary book. Scary in the sense that there is so much meat and good stuff in this book, little measily me could never do it justice.
But Lord, You want us to walk by faith.
I have never written a Bible study before and I kind of hate calling this one, but I don't know what else to call it and since I hate naming things and I'm terrible at it I guess that's what I'll call it.
Lord, I am so broken over this. I want to weep because I am not worthy to teach Your Word. I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to add to it or take away from it. I am kind of terrified right now.
In all honesty I just feel like this is something He is telling me to do. He called me to start this blog two and a half years ago and now He is wanting me to share what I am learning from His Word about being a mom.
Romans 1Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God - the gospel he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding his Son, who as to his human nature was a descendant of David, and who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead; Jesus Christ our Lord. Through him and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith. And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.
To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints;
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ. (1:1-7)
Okay, so Lord, please help me. Help me write down my thoughts and struggles as a young mom, to write down these prayers.
This opening section is Paul's greeting to the church in Rome. Paul identifies himself and his audience. I underlined the words and phrases that meant something to my heart and now I'm going to talk about them.
I am a servant. I am a servant of Jesus Christ. I serve my kids day in and day out. My life is serving, doing laundry, washing dishes, fixing meals, wiping bottoms. I never knew I could serve this much. This is not an easy job and many days I would rather not serve but be served. I think the world would say that I need some "me time" and I need to kick up my feet and relax. I'm always going to buck up against our culture though and ask the question, "Is that what Jesus would do?" He was the servant of all. The only thing close to "me time" that he ever did was get up early in the morning, go up on a mountain and pray. Maybe it's not "me time" that I need, maybe it's more like "God time" that would give me strength and energy at this desperate time in my life.
Thank You that all of scripture points to Your Son. The Old Testament is so beautiful with Your promises, the history. Let me know them more.
Thank You for sending Jesus, the perfect servant. As a mom I have only an inkling of what it would be like to give up your only son. To give him up for sinners like me? I am in amazement. I am in awe of Your heart Father.
You have called us to the obedience that comes from faith. To have faith is to obey. Lord, my heart often doesn't want to obey You because it's not what feels good. It doesn't want to obey because I see others around me who are not called to obey in the same areas that you have called me to. My heart doesn't want to obey because I want my own way. I am so much like my two year old son who does not want to go down for a nap. He is begging and pleading, all out fighting in defiance. But if he would just trust me that this nap is what he needs right now life would be so much better.
Lord, help me to walk in faith. Help me to obey You. Even when it is hard and even when I feel like kicking and screaming. Teach me to obey.