Monday, September 30, 2013

Letting Go of Control

Oh Facebook, I don't have time for you. There are too many "friends" on there and I have things to do. And blog posts to write.

Today was, maybe kind of still is, a not-so-very-good-terrible-day. Or at least that's what I was thinking until about thirty minutes ago, or maybe an hour ago.

Now, let me start by saying that last Monday was AMAZING. It was like the perfect day sent down from heaven to us. The weather was perfect, we went on a walk, we did a ton of school, the kids were good, lunch was easy... it was beautiful. This Monday may have been the complete opposite.

Maybe I need to couch that in saying that there were good things that happened today, they just didn't happen according to plan. We did make it to the grocery store and we did spend an exorbitant amount of money. Levi rode through about half the store on TOP of the little car that goes in the front of the cart. No one said anything to me. I fed them goldfish in order to save our sanity. It took us about an hour and a half. Last time I went to the grocery store by myself and it took me 45 minutes. I remember flying through the store and thinking, I get to look at prices and compare things and I get to move when I want to move and stay when I want to stay.

We did no school today. Deep sigh. I kind of, sort of tried to do school today. The problem is that when I don't have everything set up perfectly, it's difficult for us to get to the table. If I'm not looking over his shoulder, it's hard to get him to do things. I also didn't finish cutting things out last night, so we didn't have our letter "G" to lace. also, the kitchen and dining room were still a bit of a mess and it was driving me crazy. And I needed to make my grocery list and as soon as we got back from the grocery it was time for lunch. They didn't want to eat lunch because I had fed them half a bag of goldfish. Of course.

Lunch was filled with tears of us trying to get Aria to eat her sandwich. I have not done a very good job at getting past her pickyness, plus, it's the stage that she's in. I am having flashbacks of when Levi was this age and dinner times were just plain traumatic sometimes. Note to self: it helps if they are actually HUNGRY. The problem with letting a toddler who can't quite communicate their needs get hungry is that then they are angry as well. Oh the dinners I have fixed with a screaming kid pulling at my clothes. Oh the times I have wished for a padded room... It may be worse trying to get through a grocery store with screaming children though, I'm not sure. As is evident, I have not figured out how to do that.

I tried to lay them down for naps at 12:50. By about 1:10 Aria was hysterically screaming in her room. It occurred to me that maybe she was finally hungry and needed something to eat before she went down. Levi was hungry too. After they ate I just let them play. I was tired of fighting. I had fought them all morning and now I was just going to let whatever happened happen. What a good mom I am... (says sarcastically).

The best part of it all, was that they actually played together. They were running around, jumping and chasing and having a great time. Probably because they knew they were delaying nap time, but I really didn't care at that point. I loaded the dishwasher, made some pesto and just listened to them. More than anything, I want them to be friends. I want them to love each other, I want them to be on the same team and enjoy each other.

Eventually they went down for naps. The house is still standing and we live to tell about another day.

Lord, help me. I need Thee every hour, every hour I need Thee. Help me to know what is important. Help me to discipline and love my children in wisdom. Help me to see the good, the successes. Help me to rejoice in every day because it's the day that You have made. Thank You that each afternoon is new, each morning is new, each evening is new. You make all things new and Your mercies are new. Thank You for kids that keep me on my toes and surprise me daily. Thank You for peace and patience that I could not muster on my own. Thank You that we will get to add another one of these crazy kids to our family soon. What a humbling, wonderful gift they are.

1 comment:

  1. Just want you to know that I think you are doing an awesome job! Yes, goldfish at the store is way more important than a timely lunch. :) I just recently took my five kids to the store and before I left, I just prepared myself that the excursion for just a few items was going to take 2 hours (if it took less, I would then be pleasantly surprised). This really helped me not get frustrated with the slow pace. I also let them pick out some semi-healthy organic fig bars and that + bananas was lunch when we got home...great nutritional meal huh. :)
    School was actually not accomplished that day because Blair wanted me to make 64 cake pops for his my husband!
    I am all about routines and think they are vitally important, but I also love flexible kids (and moms). Sometimes, especially when you homeschool, grocery trips, cake pops, doctor visits, etc... will not exactly fit into the schedule, but it is awesome to see how the Lord uses those moments to mold us into His image.