Mom Struggles

Whenever I want to blog our internet usually stops working. Why is that?? I usually just have to reset the router, but by the time I go through all of that, I've lost the motivation to blog. As you can see, I'm easily dissuaded. But today I will persevere!

I finally, finally, FINALLY got Levi to nap today. Woohoo! He really needed a nap yesterday, and the day before that, but when I fight him it usually just blows up in my face and I spend an hour and a half getting angrier and angrier at him and then finally give up and let him skip his nap. I will try all kinds of strategies: reading more books (problem is that I'm usually the one falling asleep at that point), singing more songs as softly as I can, cuddling with him, laying in bed with him, not laying in bed with him and spanking him he gets out of his bed or is not LAYING in the bed with his head on the pillow (I often come in and he's sitting there, playing with his animals. I've taken away animals, used different pillows (fail), cried, begged and pleaded. Sometimes he just doesn't nap.

Last night he was a basket case. Ben and I had not seen him like that in a long time. It confirmed the fact that he is not ready to completely be done with the nap. Whew. I'm definitely mourning that alone time. I'm sure every mom mourns when her first child drops their nap. I'm sure after this I will never mourn dropping naps again. What's the point really? If one's awake, why not have them all up?

Today Aria and Levi were  fighting over a toy dog. I've decided that I am not going to allow them to have "mine" and "yours" every toy is "ours" who had it first? I hate that one too. If the rule is finders keepers, what in the world does that reinforce? Just because someone got to the toy first? What if they pushed their little sister down to get to that toy? I'm still working on this one.

Anyways, Levi had the toy and Aria was chasing him and screaming. He likes to be chased. What kid doesn't? He also likes to tease her. But, I don't want her to learn that she will get something just because she screams for it. So, I took the toy away and put it on the mantel. (Our mantel ends up piling up with all kinds of things I want to keep out of reach for the kids, I gotta find a new system.) Aria was still hysterical. Now she really wasn't getting the toy. Levi went and sat on the couch.

I have a hard time with when she is crying like this, do I let her throw her temper tantrum or do I try to stop her and let her know that is not acceptable behavior? Looking back on the situation now, she was probably the one who had and wanted the toy to begin with. After she had been screaming for several minutes and becoming more and more hysterical Levi said, "Just give her the toy mom!" No way am I giving it to her at this point. I am not following instructions from a three year old and I'm not giving into the tantrum of my 20 month old.

I decided to take the toy and put it in a closet where it would not be seen. Aria didn't even notice that I took it off the mantel. She proceeded to climb on top of the fire place, onto a Little People's parking garage. As I was putting the toy in the closet I heard a crash and scream. Yep. She had fallen off the parking garage and hit her face on the fireplace.

Champion mom moment. Oh my.

Now I had a little girl who was not only angry that she didn't get what she wanted, but she was also maimed. What do you do? Comfort her? Tell her that she was being too stubborn in the first place?

Aria is just at such a difficult age with limited ability to communicate but very definite opinions. So many times I am at a loss. I want her to know that I love her and I want the best for her, but I also don't want her to grow up spoiled. Where is the line?

Lord, help me. Every day. Every hour, every minute... help! Give me wisdom to look into her little heart, to show her that I love her and I want the best for her and because I want the best for her I'm not going to give her what she wants. Oh my, this is difficult to communicate to both my children. Thank You that You do the same with us. You are faithful and wise and give us exactly what we need, even if we don't want it in that moment. Thank You for these little mirrors that I can look into and see my own life and struggles and how perfect of a parent You are. Help me to trust You. Help me to keep my tantrums at a minimum. Help me to delight in You and know that You have my best interests at heart.