I don't have time for you. I'm tired. I would rather watch a movie or do yoga right now. Truly, I'm trying to avoid eating a big bowl of ice cream. I miss my husband who is gone for the night. I need to be in bed by ten. Can we be done by ten please?
I have been thinking about this phase of life. This one with three little kids and how sometimes Ben and I look at each other at the end of the day and just sigh a deep sigh of exhaustion. We love our three kids. We would not trade them for anything, but really, they are a LOT of work.
It's constant discipline, constant watching to make sure they don't hurt themselves (anyone can attest to you that I'm not good at this part, it's God's grace that has kept them alive thus far), constant noise … my kids love to make noise, lots of loud noise. I left the lunch table to do something and came back and they were just screaming at each other. I asked them what was wrong and they both just smiled and said "nothing" … it kind of frays your nerves.
My friend and I were walking out to our cars after playing on the playground the other day. We were both yelling at our kids not to run through the parking lot, it's dangerous. Did they listen? Of course not. Thankfully no cars were really around, but I had this thought come out that's been brewing in me. I thought: this is hard. I mean, like digging ditches kind of hard. It's like manual labor continuous stress management, you have to be ready for anything at any time of the day.
I get to the end of the day and think, really? Do I really have to wash the dishes or sweep the floor? I am SO tired. If it was a rough night with the baby, it's even worse.
Okay, so what's my point?
Maybe it's that it is like digging and all the hard work of plowing up the ground before you plant a garden or something. This is the most physically intensive part. The other parts will be intense and difficult I'm sure, but this part is where it's just taken out of me.
Maybe the hope that I'm clinging to is that it won't be like this for long. My house won't be such a wreck for long, my children will someday be potty trained, they will someday dress themselves or fix themselves a snack, they will someday do chores or know to wipe their feet before coming in the house with dirty shoes.
But really, these years are such a treasure. These are the times when I can kiss them freely. I can hold them and cuddle them. I can sing to them and scratch their little backs at night. Someday Aria won't let me kiss her yummy cheeks. Someday Levi won't see me as the smartest, coolest mom just because I built him a hanger for his planes out of blocks. Someday I won't be able to play little piggies with chubby little toes or enjoy sweet coos from Simeon.
Lord, these days really are precious. Let me not wish them away. Teach me patience. Help me enjoy these years while they last.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
my next goal: to take a picture with all three of them together.
How do I not have one?