Monday, May 5, 2014
Moving to Chicago part 2
Several times today while cleaning and packing and just thinking about packing I have wanted to break down and cry and just lay on the floor and tell everyone I can't do this. I just … can't … do … this.
But as I was cleaning the Holy Spirit was asking me, "Jody, is this your home? Is this where you were meant to be?' I was reminded that this world is not my home. It's just not. We, maybe especially americans and maybe especially housewives, want our homes all tidy and nice around us. We want it to be comfortable and a place of permanency. That's probably because we were created for permanency, for paradise. The sad part is that this world is not permanent. The world and everything in it is passing away, but the Word of God stands forever.
Lord, thank You that this is not my home. How hopeless I would be today if it were.
Okay, so more about our call to Chicago.
Why is this so hard for me to blog about?? Maybe it's because sometimes it feels foolish to say, "God told me to do this" … because really? Are you sure you heard Him? Yes, I'm sure! But really? Would He really tell you to do something that makes no sense like that? Yep. Makes sense to me.
I'll share a little from Ben's story.
We had just truly decided to begin pursing the idea of going to Chicago. We told Gabriel and Debbie one Sunday night about how we were truly feeling like the Lord was leading us there to partner in ministry with them. They were thrilled. True to form, Gabriel gave us a challenge. He's definitely the kind of guy who will hold your feet to the fire … in a good way. He challenged us to start telling people about the possibility of moving and how God was leading us. He told us to make sure and be intentional in this time.
The next day Satan started attacking. Fear. Hardcore fear. Would Ben be able to find a job? What if we went for a period without insurance? Would we be able to sell our house? What if our parents thought we were crazy?
All kinds of questions and fears.
He hadn't ever experienced fear on this level before. He decided to download a podcast from Matt Chandler. He hadn't listened to Matt before, he just knew I had listened and decided to download a sermon. It was about fear. Matthew 6 and how God provides. Ben was weeping in his car. He was on his way to lunch with one of our pastors. His meeting with the pastor was so encouraging that if the Lord really did want us to move, God would make a way and He would make it clear. God would not leave one of His children in the dark or obstruct their way.
Another meeting with a pastor Ben had just read about Jonathan and the armor bearer and how they went up and defeated a philistine outpost. Ben had a vision that he would be like the armor bearer. Ben is a team player, he wants to support, not as much lead. This pastor had preached a sermon on this passage just before he left his old church. They were able to talk about the passage and the pastor had a lot of confirmation that Ben was following God's will.
God just kept telling us to keep pressing into ministry here in Little Rock. We knew that we needed to stay for one more season. We needed to have our third baby here and Ben needed to see a huge project through at his work. He wanted to leave his job well. He didn't want to leave his co-workers in the lurch to "go start a church" for some reason, we didn't think that would be a very good witness. :)
It's sort of felt like we've had a line of bread crumbs we have been slowly picking up as we follow God. A sermon here, a scripture there, a word from a friend at a very appropriate time. People who we told would ask us, "How is Chicago looking?" And I could honestly say, I feel like I can only see about ten feet ahead of us. It's like we are on a train and God is literally laying the track out in front of our eyes.
It's been a huge faith journey for us and we are excited about what else He has in store.