A Midblog Crisis ... who am i? why am i doing this?

To blog or not to blog... sometimes I just don't feel like blogging. Sometimes I hate it. I know I should blog and all... it's kind of like eating your vegetables... okay, maybe not that dramatic...

I've been struggling with the fact that my blogs are not ... well ... that grammatically correct. Sometimes I go back and read posts and think, this is terrible. Who the heck do I think I am? People actually read this stuff? I never proof it. I have old posts that I meant to rewrite or come back to and work on later, but I never have. All my drafts end up just sitting there, waiting for Armageddon to put them out of their misery. That's why I just type and post. And share. Maybe I will grow up someday... maybe I will proofread my posts when I'm adult. But right now, I don't have time, I don't have the willpower and I don't have a professor on the other end who will give me an A, C+ or even an F. I just have you. My readers, yes, I'm talking to you. I can't believe you read this blog and all of it's errors. I am so sorry.

I'm guessing the reason why you read this blog is for the rawness.

Yes, it's like reading the pages of a journal sometimes. There are no grammar judgements, there's only the real emotions, the real story. It's just me, putting my thoughts as much into words as much as I can manage.

Thank you for reading. I always imagine sitting in a coffee shop (double tall white mocha for me, yes, I LOOOVE sugar and caffeine) and just talking about life. Again, no judgments, just life.

I'm not trying to publish a book or let people know how awesome my life is, I'm just working out my thoughts, sharing the goofy things my kids do, the insanity that makes up my brain...

I found out a long time ago that when I'm completely honest, it helps others to not feel quite so alone. That's why I share things that might be uncomfortable to some at times. I hate the sin that keeps us trapped inside and feeling like we have no one to share with. So here I am, speaking out, because honestly, it doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter what I think, or what anyone thinks. It's been incredibly freeing in my life to know that the only opinion that matters is God's. 

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 1 Corinthians 5:21

If I am in Christ I am the righteousness of God. 

Lord, that astounds me. That you would take a wretched sinner, pull me up out of my sin and put newness and righteousness on me... I'm amazed. I lay down my life and say that it is Yours, do as You will with it. 

To you, reader friends, thank you for participating with me. I hope that my thoughts make you feel a little less alone. I hope they draw you closer to God and cause you to seek Him more.