Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Gory Story

Hello blog, it's good to see you again. 

What I really want to do right now is eat my kitchen's worth of food. Why do I want to do that? I have no idea, other than I am tired and there's been a considerable amount of stress today. I hate being stressed out over things I have no control over. So right now I'm just going to let go.

This is totally a side note, but I kind of want to make a top ten reasons why moms struggle with weight list. That sounds totally dumb, but I was filling up the van with gas and that idea came to me. It felt brilliant in the moment. I feel like one of those reasons is because we live in our kitchens and therefore are forced to look in our pantries like 20 times a day. Also, if a child hasn't cleaned their plate it always makes sense for you to clean it for them so they can just get up and play. Besides, children are starving in Africa. ... just a thought. 

So, I just wanted to record what happened last night. It was traumatic, and who doesn't need another traumatic story every now and then. Come to think of it, I think the last story I posted was about puke. Well, this one is about blood. 

I'm going to give you fair warning here, if blood and things like that make you queasy, you should just close this page RIGHT NOW. 

Poor Aria. If it's not one thing, it's another. Ear infection, throwing up, allergic reaction and on top of all that I think she's cutting teeth. Last night she kept waking up every thirty minutes after we put her down. She would just cry out like she was in pain and then go back to sleep. So, I got her up and nursed her to help comfort, she played and I put her back down. This might have happened two more times when finally it occurred to me that she might be teething. So, I gave her some ibuprofen. It was ten pm, Ben and I were starting to get ready for bed. She was up toddling around. I wanted to wait another 15 minutes to let it kick in before I laid her down again. 

I was on the bed and Ben playfully picked her up and tossed her (gently) on the bed. I told him no rough housing and getting her amped up before bed, so he went back to the bathroom. I was being all lazy and lying on the bed, watching her. Did I mention I had just taken an Ambien? I thought, no biggie, I'll put her down in a minute. In that moment on the bed, she moved toward the foot and stood up. Since it was so late, she was unsteady on her feet, she immediately fell face/mouth first into our foot board. In that moment, a less than ideal word came out of my mouth. I picked her up and immediately blood was pouring out of her mouth. I rushed her in and held her over the sink, Ben started yelling, "What's going on?" and I frantically explained my negligent parenting. Not failing, however, to mention that he had been the one to put her on the bed, so it was his fault too. (I apologized for blaming him later as we were finally getting into bed) He yelled, "Do something to stop the bleeding!" I got the idea that it would be a lot better if I just got in the bathtub with her, blood was literally spewing out of her mouth. It was like something out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I'm talking about spraying. We kept putting clean washrags on her, we had to keep her from leaning back and it all gushing down her throat and the whole time she is screaming. She was totally traumatized. 

Oh my goodness, it must have been a major artery. I hadn't seen that much blood since I gave birth. Eventually the bleeding slowed, but we couldn't keep her from messing with her wound and reopening it. Finally, I just started nursing her. It worked. She stopped screaming and she stopped messing with the wound. God did some kind of miracle though, or maybe it was adrenaline, but I did not feel affected by my Ambien at all during that time. It took an hour, but I finally nursed her to sleep (which I never do any more). Also, she ended up waking two more times that night, so I went in and nursed her back to sleep both of those times. I was afraid she would try to suck her thumb and reopen the wound yet again. So, needless to say, I'm a little bit tired today. Maybe that's why I feel stressed out today. 

There is still dried blood in our tub, I'm just too tired to clean it, and it can wait. Deep Sigh. I will not be stressed out. 

This phrase keeps coming to mind: The joy of the Lord is my strength. 

Lord, please let your joy be my strength today. Let me rest in You. Let me praise You even in the hardest, most difficult times. Thank You for giving us peace in the midst of the craziness last night. Thank You for Your strength today. I will rejoice in my weaknesses, for when I am weak, You are strong. 

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