Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pregnancy again. :) part 12

I'm taking a break from video editing, sometimes my brain just needs to switch gears. So, now I'm blogging, of course. I love editing videos. It's one of the unexpected benefits of owning a Mac. They can make you look really smart. My family is all amazed at the videos I put out, but really, it's not much. All you have to have is an artistic eye and an ear for music and several hours. I just wish I had a big monitor or maybe two monitors and some good speakers so that when I watch my video on my in laws big screen tv I'm not surprised that I accidentally picked that photo or maybe that music was a little too loud in this place. I really should just be happy with my 14" MacBook though.

I'm blogging mainly because Aria is reminding me to write about her. She's kicking on my tummy, I guess her head is down and feet are up kicking directly into my abs. It doesn't hurt, it just feels weird. Maybe the weirdest feeling is when she decides to do a flip while I'm doing something. It's a fast flip too, or something where she is moving pretty suddenly. I hesitate to write this, but it's on my mind and I hope she doesn't mind. I don't even know if she reads this blog. I have a sweet friend who recently lost her baby at 36 weeks (I think) along, I heard it was because the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. It makes me really think about what is going on in my womb. It also makes me realize how little control I have over what goes on. I mean, I guess I have some and there are all kinds of moves you can do if you need to position your baby and everything, but really, something like that is so unforeseeable. I have just been thinking about how it is just another way we have to have faith.  We have to release our children to the Lord even as babies in the womb. I have to release the fact that I won't always be there to make sure everything is perfect. New moms have to release the fact that their baby can go to sleep and so can the mom, We have to release them into the care of others at times, we have to release their safety to the Lord. And honestly, it's not always a release that is "safe" ... oh sure, we like to think that everything is safe and sound and that because we have a good God that He will automatically do what we want Him to do... but that is not true at all. He is a good God. He is merciful and just and He is powerful, but that doesn't mean He is going to do things that we understand perfectly at the time, just ask my friend.

I am learning that life is more precious than I ever thought. It is fragile and delicate. Each child is brought into this world not easily and, oops, we forgot to use birth control that time, but each child has a purpose. God ordained each and every one. It takes a long time to usher them in. There is a lot of pain and discomfort involved. There is a lot of sacrifice. But is it worth it? Most definitely. I wouldn't trade Levi for the world. Was he worth every ounce of that effort despite how frustrating he can be at times? Most definitely.

Aria, come quickly, we are excited to get to see you:) 

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