I just have to post about this. I wrote a little FB status, but it didn't really do it justice.
I'm going to leave out names, I just ask that you would be in prayer for this young woman.
I don't post this because I'm holy or better than anyone else. Really, I'm pretty lame. I have the opportunity to serve (they call it volunteer, but I think as disciples we need to look at it as service) at the Crisis Pregnancy Center (CPC) in North Little Rock from 10-1 on Thursdays. Three hours, that's all. If you want to know more about what we do, you can see a video testimony at this site. I just want to post this to prove that God can use anyone, and that it is good to faithfully serve.
So a woman (she's 24) came into the CPC today. She wanted to know what we could do for her. She knew she was pregnant. It wasn't until I brought her into the counseling room that I found she wanted to have an abortion. We talked about why she wanted to have the abortion, career, this was not her plan... The father of the baby wanted her to keep it, she didn't want to get pregnant with him, she didn't expect to get pregnant with him... even though she wasn't using birth control of any sort. It's funny because you sit and listen to some people say that and it's so hard not to say, "Did you know that having sex makes babies? That's what it was designed to do." I think in our culture though sex is not about making babies, it has become more about pleasure, not about commitment. Babies are a commitment. Just in case you didn't know.
Our culture is really good at disposing of babies too. I'm just gonna throw that out there.
She had had an abortion before and it wasn't a big deal, I didn't push it any further, just kept praying in my head about what to say to her.
When she went in for her pregnancy test I talked to our ultrasound technician and told her this girl wanted an abortion. She said, "ask her if she wants a free ultrasound" so I did. The girl thought that would be great. It was an interesting situation because the girl had scheduled an abortion the day before but her boyfriend didn't take her to the appointment. She said he was going to make her have this baby. I just kept praying. She called the boyfriend but he didn't want to come to the ultrasound. That was hard. Her disappointment in that moment... It felt like a real non-committal relationship, why God? Why do babies have to be brought into the world during "casual" sex?? Why are we allowed to play with fire like this? Why are babies killed over "casual" sex? I am convinced that there is no such thing as "casual" sex. There is too much weight there. Why does our culture spew lies in this way?
We made it into the ultrasound room. I just kept praying and praying in my head. Right before Debbie (our ultrasound tech) put the wand on her belly the girl said, "hold up! I'm really scared, I don't know if I want to see this!" I wondered if in that moment she was afraid of what she would see. She had been six weeks along with her abortion, it might be the first time she would ever realize that the first baby was actually a baby. I could just feel the weight of it. I asked her if I could pray for her and she said that was a good idea. I didn't feel like she needed any condemnation in the moment, she just needed hope. Hope that the Lord had plans for her, hope that God loves her, hope that He is her Daddy, her Abba Father and He would just wrap His arms around her. When I was done praying she said "okay."
The first thing we saw on that ultrasound screen was of course the bladder but then, right off we saw the uterus and inside was a tiny little pea shape. We weren't sure if we would be able to see anything since it was still so early. But no, we saw this little bitty baby. And then we could see it's heartbeat. Rhythmically beating. She was so excited, she was like, "is that the heartbeat?" It was overwhelming. I think in that moment she realized the weight of it all.
After the ultrasound she was still kind of stunned. Debbie said, "You're a mom, and this baby will always love you. This man, the father of the child may not always be there, but this child will be there to wrap his arms around your neck and to love you in a way that no one else can." She was so overwhelmed.
She signed up for our HUGS Bible study and just had a completely different spirit about her. If you could, please pray for her in this time. It might be easy to make that decision inside of our doors, but once on the outside... I'm praying that God would continue to speak to her heart. She's going to come back for another ultrasound in a few weeks, praying she will get a good mentor for the Bible study, praying we can continue to minister and love her and this little baby.