So many thoughts jumbling around in my mind today. They jumble a lot when I am walking around cleaning my house while my kids are asleep. I have no idea what I am going to do when one of them stops napping... we will cross that bridge when we come to it. :)
I just posted on my Facebook about how it is really difficult to parent when you are a natural sinner. I wanted to expound on that a bit. Levi can be very difficult to lay down for a nap sometimes. He is not a fan of bedtime either. He will keep pushing for more books to read, more songs to sing, more excuses to not have to go to bed. Lately, the one about having to go poo poo has been working the best. Mommy definitely falls for that one. I finally get him into his bed, I've read two books to him, I've sang to him, I've tucked him in and I am leaving and he starts to scream. I turn around and try to control myself as much as possible as I calmly tell him that he will be fine, just go to sleep. Then I walk out and close the door. I then go to take care of Aria. She needs her diaper changed and she will need to be laid down for nap time soon as well (Thank goodness they are starting to nap at the SAME TIME!!!). Levi then starts screaming about something else, I hear the word "blanket!" coming from his room, so I walk in and he has thrown his blanket on the floor. As calmly as I can I pick it up and tell him quietly and sternly that if he throws it out of his bed again I am not going to come in and pick it up again. (I've learned this from experience.)
As I am working to get them down all I am hoping for is a quiet house to myself. I am praying that Aria will not be difficult, that she won't keep crying and crying. I am thinking about what I will get to eat, what I will get to do... in all of this I suddenly stop and realize how selfish I am. How selfish I truly am. I just want some me time. I want to do what I want to do, eat what I want to eat and so forth.
This is what I mean by "sin nature" I will always have this underlying desire to please myself. I will always see my kids disobeying me as an infringement on my rights, they are getting on my nerves, I am getting angry or frustrated with them.
Lord, I am thankful that You don't have a sin nature. You are never impatient with me and my disobedience. You are always gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. You don't resent me, You aren't frustrated with me. You only want my love. You are a jealous God and it breaks Your heart when I sin against You, but You are also perfect and have no need of me.
I am struck by how beyond my imagination the Lord is. He is the perfect parent.
Help me to continue to see my weaknesses and be in awe of Your strengths. I worship You because You are perfect.