I've been asking myself why I have been blogging lately. What's the purpose of this? Who am I blogging for? Why am I blogging?
I've been reading some other blogs lately. I feel weird because it seems like people have been doing this stuff forever and they are awesome at it with all the pictures and themes and their blogs are so pretty... their lives look really pretty too. Some of them even make money off of their blogs... hmmm, that sounds nice. Right?! To get paid to stay at home and write and it would be so easy and you just upload beautiful pictures of your beautiful life to the internet? Okay, maybe it's not that easy...
So really, why am I blogging? Why am I writing?
Honestly, I think it's because every once in a while I get a woman (never had a guy come up to me and share this) come up to me and say that they read my blog and I was speaking what they were feeling. For once, they didn't feel so alone in this struggle. So, really, that's why I blog. I write to let others know that they are not alone. I write to know that I am not alone in this.
Maybe it's a gift that God has given me, but more than anything I think it's a freedom. I like to think of it in these terms: I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Galatians 2:20 So basically, I am dead. My reputation, my self-esteem, my self-consciousness is dead. Can a dead man be afraid of men? Is a dead person afraid of what others will think? Can a dead person compare themselves to others? No! None of that even matters! So it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who gave himself up for me.
The other day I read about a martyr who was roasted to death in a kettle for the gospel. What?!?! I read that stuff and for about three seconds I try to go there in my mind (right, Jody, you are crazy) and I think, "Would I do that?" I mean, that must be some intense pain and it's probably a pretty slow way to die, to feel yourself physically DYING. Seriously. I'm not even joking. And I thought, Lord, let me not deny your name. Let me not be afraid of anything. If this guy can be roasted to death and not deny Your name then surely I can withstand social pressures for You as well.
I've decided I need to read more about the martyrs. I need that in my life.