Tonight as I was rocking Aria I thought of how I used to view children and how I view them now... I think I used to think that they were life-stoppers. If you have kids, then your life will be over. But now I am starting to believe that children are not life-stoppers, they are more like life-slower-downers... they make things harder for a while, maybe more like speed bumps than stop signs (weird example I know) but then they have brought so much enrichment to my life, I'm really okay with it.
We change and adapt and learn new things. Even with Levi and him going through this difficult, trying two year old age, my life is still so much more beautiful with him. I couldn't imagine what it would be like without him.
I have also heard people say, "I want to give my kids enough one-on-one time with me." You know, like it's going to hurt their self-esteem or something. But honestly, I'm going to go with this saying, "Love doesn't divide, it multiplies." As I was on the floor trying to get Aria to crawl to me today Levi came and sat with me. Together we cheered her on, coaxing her to crawl to us. To see Levi entertain her this afternoon with toys and hear her belly laugh and squeal with delight... I couldn't imagine why you wouldn't want more children.
Yes, there will be fights and disagreements among them and they will get on each other's nerves and push each other's buttons. But I want it to be the goal of our family to love each other, protect each other and help one another. I want what is mine to be yours, to share, to be selfless... I know I can't force them to be this way and there will be struggles, but the adventure seems to outweigh the risk in this present moment.
Lead us Lord. Show us what You want us to do.