I think this post might be a little difficult. If you follow me on Instagram then you may know that Levi spilled yogurt on my computer. Yes, yogurt. So I did what you are supposed to do, I powered it down and took off almost every key and cleaned it with alcohol and q-tips. I put it back yesterday and I'm not sure I got everything quite in place. Sometimes when I hit the space bar there is no space, or if I shift it doesn't always capitalize... If I catch it I will try to correct it.
I guess that's a Levi story. It's also a stupid-parent-moment. I have lots of those moments.
It had been a hard day. The morning was awesome hanging out with friends, but when we got home Levi was just not acting tired. He had slept late that morning (this is a crazy freak of nature thing but he has been sleeping until 8 and 9 o clock this week, usually it's more like 6:30). So I thought maybe he needs to skip his nap. I wanted him to go in and have "rest time" and just stay in his bed with the lights out. That lasted for about 10 minutes. I could have forced it to be longer and kept putting him back in his room and explaining it was "rest time" for the next hour but it was a lazy parenting moment. I just didn't feel like enforcing this one. (mistake number one).
So for the rest of the afternoon I was trying to do stuff on the computer and I wanted him to sit quietly and play with his cars. He wanted to throw toys across the room.
I was trying to order some pictures from Walgreens but our internet filter kept blocking it. Very strange because initially I could go to the site and make out an order form. But then I would try to upload some more pictures and it would block it. Then slowly as I kept trying to go back and then order and then try to get this deal that I saw on the front page, little by little the site would be more and more blocked. Totally frustrating. Turns out that I didn't order the pictures.
Levi kept coming up to and staying "I'm tirsty, I wan some miiiiilk."
or "I'm huuungry, I wan some gole-fish."
Not right now Levi, we are going to a friend's house for dinner tonight (I don't even look up from the computer I am concentrating on, in my frustration of course I am checking Facebook and different blogs because OF COURSE they will help... psh).
Then I remember that I have to practice piano because I will be leading worship at small group that night. Levi wants to play too. He doesn't want me to sit on the stool, he wants to sit on the stool. He wants to bang on the keys. Okay fine, I'll just go put on my makeup. So that's what I did. He eventually wandered away and I sat down to play. My computer was open on the kitchen counter and I had given him some yogurt earlier. I don't think he was actually hungry, looking back in retrospect I think that all of this just stemmed from him wanting my attention. Even as I write this I am starting to see clearly what I may not have seen in the heat of the moment.
Anyways, I started playing and I heard from the other room some strange sounds. In the back of my mind I thought, I should check on him but the other part of my brain was saying, at least you can actually play the piano now! Use this opportunity!
More noises and I come into the kitchen where he is and he has a 7 foot long pole (we recently used as a roller extender for painting) and he is knocking over the GLASS jars above cabinets. Praise the Lord that they did not fall on the floor and shatter into a million tiny pieces.
I should have checked on him when I first thought of it.
I look over and in the chaos of waving this huge pole around he has knocked his yogurt onto my computer.
At this moment I hear Aria starting to wake up, I look at the clock and we need to leave in about 15 minutes.
Lord, help me to listen to my children. Help me to listen for their needs. I can be so selfish. I don't want my son's image of me to be one of always looking at a computer or a phone, just trying to get away from them. Yes, this is a trying time and sometimes I feel like I'm seriously going to lose my mind, but help me to not let these years and months and days to slip by.
I am weak, but he is strong.