Monday, October 15, 2012

The struggle.

[Serious post alert.]

As long as I'm in this flesh and these bones life will just be hard.

That's what I've come to realize.

I don't know what it is about today and how I'm feeling ... maybe it's hormones, maybe it's lack of sleep. Maybe it's something else. Maybe it's that I asked for prayer yesterday at church.

It feels weird because the sun is shining so beautifully outside. The temperature is absolutely perfect. I don't normally feel... depressed on days like this.

I don't want to be led by my emotions. They are kind of a roller coaster and I don't want to just ride them up and down.

Been thinking a lot about how I feel and how feelings are so fleeting. Good feelings seem to be the most fleeting. Depressing feelings tend to hang on like tar and just pull you down into themselves. As a mom it makes me more irritable, takes me longer to do things than normal. Today has felt like it has dragged by.

Lord, You are my portion. I don't want this day to just pass by me. I want to live in You. O lifter up of my soul, please strengthen me with Your Word. I am in desperate need of You Lord.

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