I need to call a friend back, but my phone died so I guess I'll just blog.
Yeah.
Today is just one of those days where the weather is perfect outside. The windows are open, the sun is streaming through. The kids are napping, I even fell asleep for a bit while trying to lay Levi down. (yeah, remember how I wasn't going to do that? Well, things have been thrown out the window lately.)
The kitchen floor was clean this morning. Do you know how amazing that was? To wake up and the floor be clean? To go to bed with the floor clean? Can I also just take a second to brag on my husband? He has started a prayer group of getting together with other men to pray on Monday morning. He makes pancakes and coffee and I don't know what else they do because I stay in the bedroom with Levi, but Ben tells me they talk struggles and the Lord and they pray. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I can't tell you how proud I am of my husband, who diligently cleaned the kitchen with me last night and made pancakes and we just hung out and talked and listened to music... I don't know.
I mean, I guess if you had come to our house a few hours earlier you would have seen a wreck, kids screaming, making messes, Ben working on painting the baseboards (another things I am proud of him for) and just utter chaos. Just before bedtime he said to me, "I'm about done with kids today." And yes, even though we only have two sometimes it feels like we have kids coming out of our ears. (Some of you are laughing right now because you know that we have NO IDEA what a lot of kids is like, but it's hard okay? Gimme a break).
I just feel like things between Ben and I have been good lately. You know what it is? It's the Lord. God has shown me where I have been selfish in my thinking. Ben has died to himself and led in service. We have been seeking God together now more than ever.
I love being a mom next to him. I love how he interacts with our children. I love doing things with him, going places and serving people. I love talking things through with him and hearing his perspective (which is always very different than mine).
Thank You Lord. I never thought I could have this. I didn't think I ever would get married, but You had other plans. Thank You that we have You to guide us. Thank You for these good times right now, I'm not naive in thinking that it will only get better, I know that hard times are ahead, but I pray that Ben and I would pull closer together in those times and you would grow us, knit us together. Lord, we need You. Every step of the way we are in need of You. Help us to depend on You.
What you said about two kids being hard? Made me think of this blog post: http://katieballa.blogspot.com/2012/09/two-v-one.html I love how she talks about how it's okay to think that having one kid is hard even though you know there are other people with five (or more) and how having two kids is hard for her right now. I'm not describing it very well. You should read it. I'm trying to find that balance where I appreciate the fact that only having one child makes things "easier", but it's still hard for me at times, and it's okay to admit that. I think each number of children is just challenging in its own way. One is hard b/c you are learning everything for the first time. Two is hard b/c you have to learn to balance the needs of multiple children. Three is hard... well, I think any more than two kids is just self-explanatory in how hard it is. Anyway. Sorry for the novel!
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